But it’s true…

A Mystery Wrapped in an Enigma: Tell us something most people probably don’t know about you.

Firstly, I would like to mention that, It has been a year since I joined word-press and I have done better than I could have imagined. I started blogging as an activity to kill time, but instead have gotten hooked on to it and have learned so much from so many. It is always a treat to read the blogs that I follow. Also, I am not like a full time blogger because of my other commitments. Nevertheless, It’s been a good ride.

Now to focus on today’s prompt I’ll have to put it all out. I hope it’s not oversharing, it makes me feel vulnerable however. Well, even after all the understanding I have gained in these past years and after rising from it all, I have kept a few things secret (like any normal person). None of them is that bad but I guess one of the secrets has, in some way, a feeling of embarrassment linked to it. We all know the world can live without knowing our small or big secrets.

Although, I am like an open book – trying to be a simple person, living a humble lifestyle – my family and friends would definitely back that up, I have had dark days too. And if I choose to share it here, in a way I am sharing it with the world. Anyway, here it goes… bullying (period). I have grown up enough to be not bothered by it or its memories, but it scars you forever. Not like I am paranoid all the time but as I was growing up and sometimes even today I get the feeling of being hated or ridiculed. I choose to ignore my feelings from all the over thinking, it is actually a bliss.

But the paranoia is because of a brief episode of name calling and hatred that I faced, which happened in the 6th grade. It is quite common in school time to be called names and made fun of. Everyone has those playful fights, competitions, jealousy etc among the different cliques because there is this entire separate social system at schools. But when all of this fun starts getting hurtful – either emotionally or physically – that is when the matter should be carefully addressed and situation nicely assessed. I changed like 4 schools in total, and have had an amazing time in each one, but my time in junior-high school was crazy. Soon after, we moved into a new city and therefore I had new place to start afresh, and I did so.

STORY: With me, there was some name calling (I did not care) but no physical bullying, except that one time when I was sort of gently “strangled”. I laughed while typing gently but that’s because it is true, the bully (the strongest, most egoistic boy in the class, how stereotypical? But it’s true…) He, only out of anger, held me by my throat (meaning strangled) to scare me not to kill me. Or may be to kill me – I do not know. I only remember being embarrassed and then I started crying, which made him leave me. The incident happened during the recess in the class room with no teacher because, it was a hot summer day and we all were inside. So, once he let me go… There I was down on my knees scared and crying in front of the whole class, which in-turn was even more embarrassing.

No one informed my parents and none of it ever got repeated. However, one teacher got to know about it and scolded him in front of the entire class – talk about pissing a sleeping tiger. After that when the teacher left I do remember him saying something about seeing me dead or the likes. Yeah, I am alive because soon enough life was back to being rainbows and butterflies, until in high school (new school with different people), around the time when I was in 11th grade, my past came to haunt me.

Strangely the event never really bothered me right after it happened as life got normal very quickly, but 5 years later I felt like a loser and felt depressed for no apparent reasons. I had inferiority complex, felt so weak and went through quite a sad phase in life. Oh well, all’s well that ends well. But depression was more painful than being strangled because the anxiety and depression continued for more than 2 years, while the bullying experience had no effect, like two hours later it was back to normal. And thankfully it is normal.

I had it easy, I did alright without anyone’s help, but I have heard and know of the things that a lot of school kids go through these days and I would suggest, it is best to seek counsel and not to be embarrassed of anything. Just speak out and someone will hear you and reach out to you, for you are never alone – Never.