I had my 23rd b’day on 29th and naturally I would say I have grown a year older. But is that all? No, I have more to say. On this specific day I was thrown into thinking way too much. Being a workday, obviously, I had not much of choice but to get up early and go to “office” on top of that, it was one of those weeks with training-presentations, a pile of unfinished jobs and a bad cold. I had to focus on the outside.
On one hand I was really busy, but on the other I had a feeling that I needed to work some things out. So, I decided to listen to myself and then I found that my inner voice just wanted to reason out a few things. It kept on saying, ” you’re 23 today, are you where you wanted to be?” It is a scary thought isn’t it – to be asked a question like that. There is no trick or treat it is literally trick or trick!
So my head told me – EVALUATE! And do it quick because as you say “it’s one life we get”, so make sure you are not living a lie. Have you tapped your full potential? If not then why be held back? I said – “shut up” and as it goes my inner voice won’t listen (I think that’s because it is a voice it can only talk doesn’t listen). So I faced it, I confronted it. I answered the question that I dread a lot.
And I started looking back. I thought it has been a good good life. It has been a mixture – it was pleasant, sometimes not so much and at times totally devastating but I got through. We all get through and what do we get out of all that? Lessons and these lessons make us stronger yet so cautious that we dread taking the next wrong step.
And that is what I did. I stopped making choices that I just was not comfortable with. I chose the comfortable School. I chose the best college I did my part of work and I thought let the universe guide me and to be honest it took a long while but surprisingly the universe helped, although for the first time ever I had given up.
But when things started changing I was not so sure if I was okay with it. I was really uncomfortable but I went with the flow. That is “what I changed about me” I took a chance and yes It is not at all good. The only option that I had was as bad not having another option. So I changed myself and went against all that I am. I am trying to see it as a step forward or may be it is just half a step but at least it is not backwards.
So, yeah what changed? I did, because the world has been changing constantly, it was about time I left the comfort and made reckless choices or just choices so to speak – Make your mind up ha! This way I do feel like I am growing up, I would go as far as to say, I am growing old – not necessarily a bad thing but tiring for sure. Oh, the irony I sound like a rambling teenager in my twenties “life indeed is too much work” Lets see what changes next.
PS: Yeah I had a classic pizza party with my family to celebrate my birthday and I paid haha the feels 🙂
PPS: I am not getting much time to write because of the German A2 exam that I have in next 2 days time.