Fierce

Being with you was a fierce ride

Going far away, a fierce stride.

Stronger than both of us our fate,

Almost too close, always a little late.

My words, your emotions,

Your actions, my notions.

Not to match, not to meet.

I will not be the one to cheat.

It’s a promise to hold on.

A promise to go on.

Sometimes it works.

Sometimes we move on.

For all your needs,

Love can seem bitter indeed.

You be the one to talk to ,

The one to lean on to.

Even when falling apart,

With a broken heart,

And a wound to heal,

(Remember) friendships aren’t a deal.

To give is your choice.

Make it heard it is your voice.

But do not expect, do not fight.

To be given is not a right.

What is it if not a two way street?

For both of us, every moment a treat.

If only the passion was fierce,

Even in the moments unclear.

Expert

Expert at one thing today, forgotten tomorrow, learned the day after, not even required or followed. Was that not four days wasted? To be skilled at something new, I need more days but instead I take a break on the weekends. Now, I’ll start afresh only for it all to be repeated again.

That is how weeks come and weeks go. I am an expert at them!

Existential Crisis.

Feeling cheated by life yet?

There was a time when everything in this life was an amazement. Every moment in it self a memory to be treasured there was no need to capture those moments, no need to rush any of it, no need to plan, no need to be “politically” correct, no need to explain, no need to comprehend what was beyond me, no need to worry about tomorrow, no need to have needs be defined so specifically.

And come to present, everything has become so structured that, the more I organise the more unorganised I feel. The more I plan, there arises a need to change plans later, the more I foresee an outcome the more it will be opposite of the expected. It is not just the lack of spontaneity but the lack of time, I feel, has thrown me into this whirlwind of emotions. The lack of time for loved ones, for something bigger.

How long can you be a mess yet carry on as if you are in total control? The moment I will snap I will snap bad haha. The moment I will lose it, I do not think I will be able to gather it back as quickly. Is it wrong to feel a little over whelmed, specially when it actually is overwhelming? Changes okay… This frequent? No thanks! Were I not preparing for being an adult all along and now there is more to it, wow!

Bu then again I question am I just being dramatic and what if not? What is the meaning of all this? Where is this all headed to? Oh that is existential crisis right there. Hit your twenties yet?

I do not feel as much cheated by life as I feel from the people who created a false picture of this world and life for me. I won’t say I was not told that life is not a bed roses. I was very well informed, but I always believed that there has to be an alternate. All I have to do is give my best and move on. No expectations, right?

To hell with no expectations! Can a person not even expect snow in winters or blooming flowers in spring now? What is the meaning of being in control if not gripping onto things. I do not even want to talk about people or relationships because that is too much. How to juggle so much with a smile and if I am able to manage it well, does life stop there? No!

There are bigger purposes to be filled and it is easy to sit here and write about feeling overwhelmed by life, under the comforts of my roof and then I get struck with a thought, how do the unfortunate find enough strength to go on? Just because there is no other way? Is there really no other way?

Putting it simply, how long does one keep on going and how further? I am for one who preaches of positivity and strength that comes from your thoughts alone, I do not see the end when it reads “dead end” I see it as a sign asking me to change my course. But a new course will be as difficult and treacherous as it was treading on this “chosen” path. Change is the only thing certain and there are people with real problems so I move on, I will cope up…What else can we, with all our human power, do?

It is easy to be at peace with yourself, accept your past, not give thoughts about your future and just be in the present. After all present has enough to keep me busy. But then how long do I stand with me peace while some one and/or something is being entirely wrong. I know we all feel we do not deserve it, but does anyone care for your kindness. The mere title of “kind” goes in hand in hand with “easy to pick on”. Oh, why not bother the quiet? After all silence is weakness?!

Oh, the wrath of quiet ones is something that they are scared of themselves. It destroys! They just do not want to get down to that low level. What I find funny is the new zeal I get whenever a new challenge comes my way, I get on a new mission of being the change I want to see. Just that it gets a little lonely and tiring at times… Makes me question my very decision to be the change.

Is it worth it?  Is it possible to be too good, too quiet, too kind, overly peace-loving?

Nonetheless, NEVER BACK DOWN!

Miniature Budai

Miniature laughing Buddha. One of my cousin sisters gave it to me a long time back (entirely different but fun story about walking up a hill to reach a temple). From one of the souvenir shops near by, she bought it for me, more like took it from the shop and gave it to me. Fun incident; shop-lifting from a temple-shop.

Well, she did not have to pay for it because the shop-keeper was an acquaintance of theirs so, it was all okay and then while handing it to me she told me that rubbing Budai’s belly would bring good luck to me. Even the folklore suggest the same thing.

Now, I am not the kind who hangs onto such beliefs that encourage dependency, but just look at the smiling face of this little representation of Budai. I do not know about good luck but it sure does make me smile. It is the smile, the laughing face is quite content it instantly puts me to good mood.

Even though it has worn off a little the magic is still there. Give it a try. Have a look!

 

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Having all that you “NEED” is sufficient to be content. And something to eat (in your hand) is just an added blessing.  

What is the use of having all the wisdom, all the luxuries and the best of everything in life if a person can not carry a simple smile with radiant happiness and contentment. Seriously, the lesser the baggage the bigger the smile. That is message I got.

Know it all!

Would you dare to be a know it all?

So much is all around me.

So much to learn.

A little about me,

A lot about my love.

Some out in the open.

Some hidden deep down.

A little with a smile,

A lot of it with a frown.

Sometimes eyes opened.

Sometimes being blind.

Now it might hurt.

Soon time will be kind.

So much I knew.

So much is still new.

It is not a game.

I don’t win or lose.

It will be known.

Which ever way I choose!

Tread on this path?

Or walk on the other?

Hand in hand or alone.

Have to figure out on my own!

Learning never ends be it about life, love, people…Anything. But would you ever like being called a know it all?

Not 50-50.

You know what is the most amazing quality we have? And in fact all of us have it. The ability to go for something even when the chances of it being a success are 50-50. Then there are some who like to beat the odds, you know those who just do not care about what others have to say and believe it or not more than 50-50 these people almost always make the circumstances and conditions to work out for them, at least that is how it seems on the surface.

Point being, we should see what do we have time for?

Do I have enough time to read the problem or should I just look for a solution? Do I wait for things to be right or should I take the initiative and change it for myself? Do I want to calculate the risk of losing or should I go with the 1% chance that I have? We choose and that is enough.

After all it is not always as easy as 50-50, but it if there is any chance then honestly one chance is all we need.

Vision

Eyes? Repeated prompt yet again! Anyway it is inspirational, for eyes indeed are everything.

Do you see that?

Far far away in there?

“Just, As you see it?”

“I am not sure, where?”

Look closer, see deeper

“Above the clouds?”

“Or near this creeper?”

In that crowd!

It captivates me.

“I can not yet see”

It is a thing of beauty.

I wish you were me.

“Lend it to me then!”

“Lend me your sight?”

I could give it to you.

What you see might not be true.

“Your senses, your eyes

“What else do I need?”

Not eyes, that can see!

But vision that can perceive!

Sweet eating ghost.

Such an intriguing word it is, ghost! And the associated feelings have such a variety. Some are so interested in them and others scared as hell. Some like me, find themselves in the middle.

Okay, how do I create feelings for something that I have never experienced before? Although we do have a habit of creating strong feelings by our thoughts and that is exactly how we can go through emotional stress even before any of our fears manifest into reality.

So is ghost also just a fear? Something imaginary? But then what about ghost sightings and the extensive talk about possessions by other ghosts/demons etc. Did some one go a step too far while trying to scare kids? Is it just a joke being taken to seriously? Or as simple as it is – Inexplicable and hence everyone hence the endless stories.

We also have a habit of believing in what is experiential, and for what we find scary we are ready to believe just about anything, who would go through the experience personally? So I am fine with whatever you tell me or what ever I have been hearing from the elders and others.

Enough of questions, lets come to the interesting part; the representations of these ghosts. Lots of movies show them as a grey-scale version of the deceased person, some show them in the exact state that they died in like, bleeding or without an arm or a leg, they can apparate or even fly as an additional ability to passing through solid objects, some suggest they are ugly just because they are ghost they can not be beautiful.

Even funnier is the Bollywood representation – a grey coloured woman with grey hair, actually white long hair, cald in white sari carrying a candle and as shown in a movie singing the famous song “gum naam hai koi badnaam hai koi” (lit. translation “some one is nameless and some one is infamous”, I have no idea in what context she sings this, perhaps it is about her being name less because she is obviously DEAD haha). Come to think of it, there are no specific male ghost representations.

Anyway random prompt, even much random response!

It is Rakhi tomorrow wishes of the festivities to my readers. Rakhi is a festival that comes with its own story and traditions. Suffice to say it is neither valentines day nor siblings day but a day for brothers and sisters. The one who ties the rakhi (traditionally sister) wishes for good health of the other person (normally brother) and they basically take a vow to take care of there sister in every circumstance. So yeah it is a sweet tradition both in feelings and taste! Nothing goes with out sweets here, might as well have a sweet eating ghost!!

Stone and Flower

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From the garden at my college. Memories!

What do you do with a stone? Kick it, throw it, build with it.

What do you do with a flower? Pluck it, smell it, care for it.

There you have it how to carry yourself! With beauty inside and out or with a hard exterior that keeps everyone away? We get to choose. Some would argue that it is easier to crush a soft flower compared to stone, but crushed stone is rubble and crushed flowers, a bed for even more beautiful things to grow.

Although, wee need not hate on stones after all only they can hold those flowers in place

Complicated

Matters of heart are (not) complicated

Matters of pride complicate everything

Having to choose is (not) complicated

Being confused complicates everything

Being with the one is (not) complicated

Feelings for two complicate everything

Having lost it all is (not) complicated

Starting afresh complicates everything.

Sexuality is (not) complicated

Having to define it complicates everything

Religion is (not) complicated

All the beliefs complicate everything

People, things, life are (not) complicated

Our perception complicates everything.

 

How clearly can we see, how clear can we be depends on how much clarity we seek!