Hit-and-miss

Circumstances? They are not good or bad. Opportunities? They are not pleasant or unpleasant. People? They are not right or wrong. Specially, when talking about circumstantial opportunities that bring or take people away from our lives.

I did make up a complex term only to simplify its meaning and I have a very logical reason behind this simplification that is, we tend to over complicate things. Yes, we do. We all love drama. Accept it or not we have gone from experiencing life first hand to over analyzing every event. Like, co-relating to what has already been done than actually trying it out once again. Life is not science, oh wait, life is a science but living is an experience. There is no right or wrong method.

Who is to be blamed for this habit of opening pages from history to compare their methods to ours each time a problem shows up?

Lets go back to a couple of decades, the world was not yet a global village (if it was, then go back a little further to when it wasn’t). Anyway, so back then every hero was a local hero, every success story a local story, every failure a lesson for the people who knew the one who failed. Fast forward to now and you will see that this has changed. Daily so many stories of local heroes and local failures become a global news.

We hear about them so often that in a way we are becoming too aware of what could go wrong.

Anyone reaching a step ahead than the rest of the world is the new best. Which is okay, but as I see, it adds to pressure knowing that I am know no where near the “world’s best”. It is both very motivating yet demotivating because everyone strives to be better than this “best”. 

We get entangled in the facade of it all – trying to be the top notch, the best, the greatest and what not!

Competition is good, but with whom? The elite? or Yourself? Do we even care about that anymore, do we focus on being our best version everyday? When I tried I drifted, slowly and steadily so, towards the ongoing competition. And every failure which was supposed to be a learning/lesson became a game of finding out what went wrong. And I blamed The circumstantial opportunities that did not bring the right kind of people with them.

What ever happened to making your own stories? Learning from others’ mistake does not mean you can not make the same ones in your own life time. It is simply does not. It is likely that what worked for some one in the past is not going to work for you.

Rapunzel broke free using her hair does not imply one should start blaming their hair for not being long enough when they wan to break free. Just trying to get my point across. We shan’t focus on her hair or the tool used by her but the lesson which is the one and only, ever so famous, how much do you want it and not how many times have A, B or Z already tried and failed using that method!

Right time, right opportunity, right people! These will never come together. If one keeps waiting for them to knock on their door it is only ending in disappointment. I agree, sometimes and that is after playing our part, we have to be patient for the universe to make its move, we have to wait for other people to play their roles, for right opportunities to knock on the door, for the circumstances to be perfect.

Even then just know that they will rarely, if ever, show up together. Even if they did will you have your tools at the ready?

Life is not a method it is a blend of hit-and-miss – of individuals and for individuals.

Pretend

 

It is better to have the upper hand by…

 

Pretending I’m not scared, when I am.

Pretending I’m unaffected, when I am.

Pretending It doesn’t hurt, when it does.

Pretending it doesn’t matter, when it does.

Pretending nothing irks me, when annoyed.

Pretending nothing bothers, when bothered.

Pretending I am cool, when I am on fire.

Believing my pretence doesn’t make me a liar.

And then letting it go before I get mired.

 

 

 

Breakdowns

I might be a fool considering I left my job in this economy. But it is cool because I enjoy being called one.

The root cause of all bad in life is fear or at least the negative thoughts that start taking a toll on the body. Fear is in the head, anxiety in our behaviour and panic affects our being. Breakdowns happen; leaving us petrified, unable to move, speak or even breathe!

One could work on those fears but sometimes fears win, fear cripples lives. Once fear takes over, the pattern of running away from the triggers becomes a habit until one day when the past comes back to life and all seems to fall down as panic grips so hard it almost feels like a heart attack and leaves one emotionally drained.

This powerlessness renders the body weak. Weak to the point that taking another step seems impossible. I know this is not even close to the what people suffering from anxiety or panic disorders go through, but it is a horrible experience to say the least.

I feel these problems are more common now than ever. I see how young School kids use words like hate and love in the context of their peers or the world in general without realising the impact of using such strong words.

The times and life might have gotten complex and fast paced but in no way has it become necessary to panic over the littlest of things. Not to belittle some one else’s problems but their are people who react so spontaneously on little things and get nervous breakdowns over normal everyday situations.

Dependency is to be blamed.

There was a time when boredom was seldom and today if the WiFi is not working for an hour, every one starts sulking (that includes me) and we start wondering what to do? While as a kid majority of the time was spent outside the house; walking, talking, playing and now, except for the neighbour’s WiFi’s name, I do not even know who actually lives in the neighbour-hood.

Today homework is headache, exams are a headache, social events are a headache, talking to people is an issue, making friends, finding love, getting a job, working everything seems so unusually forced and more and more it seems like everyone is doing what has to be done and not what they love doing.

No, we are just messing up the whole point and definition of living.

For instance, a lot of work goes in the presentation of things and then labeling the best representation that, originality is thrown out of the window – like a scared pup it hides in one corner, over powered thus, commencing a pattern of self-deprecation and trying to meet the generalised standards, norms, trends, what not!

Please do not.

So many youngsters are hyper-emotional and will accept that their most enjoyable activity is sleeping. Honestly, this is not because they are tired. One can NOT be twenty and tired unless they are actually not sleeping even for six hours, it is not sleep that they want, it is peace of mind and sleep is just the perfect form of escape from the reality.

As psychology suggests depression leads one to eat too much, talk too much, sleep too much, or the opposite – it simply leads to extreme always. And look around is anything short of extreme.

Actual things that people say:

“Some one says something about me, I am gonna give them a piece of my mind.”

“Something breaks down, that is it life has ended, I have nothing to do.”

“Something is too hard to bear, I just can’t!”

Speaking from personal experience running away is going to make it hard to handle anything in life. Just accept that life with all its bumps is going to be alright, we better go over those bumps and not around them because the further we run from something, the closer we get to the next big problem. And then we will panic!

Breathe, smile, and be you. There is so much pleasure in being the fool, believe me fools are happier. Otherwise this world… I just can’t! LOL

Generous

You expect, I give my all.

You ask, I lend.

You request, I hand over.

One day this might end.

Giving is for givers.

Receiving for those who ask.

How are you a lover,

If your love doesn’t last?

It comes to fruition,

Each deed done by heart.

Which did not bloom,

Is nothing but a farce.

You won’t expect, I will  still deliver.

Do not ask,  I will still lend.

You won’t request, I will be the giver.

For my generosity is inbred.

And that is how you know which one is conditional and which one is not! Which is a deed done from the heart and who’s putting on an act. Everything that we create, we experience it first and if we do not like to give, we might as well not expect anything from others.

To save the hurt better not expect at all. Unconditional does work on both sides but begins with the one who’s giving. Be careful, it requires one to be generous, selfless even… Ready for that?

Junoon

Repeating prompts already? Meh!

My kind of twist… Passion in Hindi is called Junoon. The word itself can be said passionately haha. Words are mere sounds with meanings and we made entire languages out of them. It is both a mind boggling fact and a realisation so use your sounds wisely and with passion.

Laziness is something I love because it allows me to stay in bed all day, do nothing, be a home-buddy, and just sloth around the house. It is in our very blood to be comfort loving and getting used to it. But on the other hand once I am well rested and bored with being at ease the natural tendency of a human to look for variety makes me crave some action.

Actions that are personal that are carried out in one’s own time and space. These could also be social – done with the aim of feeling connected and belonging to something or someone. These could also be small or big actions.

And finally the actions that we want to be defined with. My action, my repercussion for my satisfaction. Now that is most important because that is how I know if I am fulfilling my purpose. So be it personal, professional or any other facet of this life every action is just an ordinary one unless its driven by passion of which we derive the satisfaction.

Junoon is known to drive people crazy. They do call passionate people crazy. After all what is crazy is definitely out of the box. Who wants the ordinary anyway? Variety is the spice of life and passion the director.

I am looking for what drives me. It takes a lot of retrospection to find that one thing. And it is a tiring process more like trying of my patience but I am looking forward to it showing me the way. Seems like a good motivation. Believe me the shift in perception and choices happens so quickly in this phase that I am expecting to be called crazy sooner or later. Haha.

But hey it is not my fault that I have to find a place where my heart finally says, “yes this is what I have been waiting for all this time”. Got to take the ride! Anyhow, it won’t be called a journey if it had no halts.

Smile together.

Put it all aside; the differences, the times and circumstances, and see how we all are together. We always have been! Looking at the bigger picture, the history of human evolution or even this universe and our tiny Earth for that matter, everything reached a point where it was all so perfect and one day boom it was the end of it all. Not in a bad way though.

For each new chapter, the old book was always closed. Not only you and me but everything and everyone is part of a bigger plan and as the trend suggests the past has to pass through it all, even the worst of times (present) just to get to a better place (future). It is not really guaranteed though.

It is sad in a way to think that to reach the top of the mountain we shall climb it with the risk of falling down and when diving deep the risk of never finding the way out hangs on our head. But this never stopped some from climbing higher or diving deep even when they fell or never made it back. At least they made it in to the history.

The belief that struggle is one’s personal stems from another belief that no two people can have the same life. While the matter of fact is indeed that, no two individuals have the same life, the dissimilarities are in way we perceive situations or just in the scenarios, but not in what they trigger.

Do not count your problems. Count the emotions they create. Do you feel things differently than the rest of the population? How can you when there is only a handful of emotions that can be triggered be it any encounter – a new challenge or an upheaval or a simple change.

The circumstances may differ but our feelings do not. I am either sad or happy or just neutral and that is no different than what other’s feel. We all try, together we try, together we take the ride yet we like to suffer alone.

We all learn the material, we all learn our selves, we all learn our short comings, we all face problems, we all perceive them differently, we all respond differently, no one is right or wrong but one loses and another wins. At the end, we all strive against it.

What can make it really easy is simplicity. When in doubt, choose your heart. When in fear, do it anyway. When nothing seems to work out, let go. When it all falls down? Try! Just be clear of one thing, there is no right or wrong, no winner or loser. If it makes you smile and keeps the fire going – it is perfect!

Complications are nothing more but of our own making. Smile, together.

Fragile

Amidst an ocean of people,

I walked alone.

Memories of your hands,

Holding me down.

For stars were so close,

Within our reach.

But you stopped,

Before every leap.

Your doubts were signs,

My confusions your strength.

Your insatiable heart..

Made you to go to those lengths.

Left me with broken pieces,

And dust on my being.

Scars of your love,

That ran in too deep.

 

Amidst an ocean of people.

I still walk alone.

With memories of you…

Fading in to the blue.

Have been running away,

Away from hurt.

Away from myself,

Hiding a fragile heart.

Stumbled into someone,

She did not question.

Quietly accepted…

A torn person.

No compromise. No games.

I could not believe,

But, broken she fixed.

Now, I am released.

 

Slog away

I was slogging away.

slog away.

Don’t want to anymore.

But have to do it anyway.

 

The harder I try,

The higher I reach.

When I lose,

I fall too deep.

 

Rolling, tumbling down,

Like leaf falling off a tree.

Two bruises that you can see.

Many more, only I can feel.

 

Stronger I become,

As further I go.

Wounds leave more than scars.

That I got to know.

 

Spreading the light,

Lying deep inside?

The strength gets crushed.

With each passing disgust.

 

The one who yields.

Eventually gives in.

The one who goes on.

Slogs away being the one.

 

Oh man it sounds lonely. It actually is, strangely, a pattern that I have observed. You know where the good seems to suffer in silence and bad is partying day in and day out. The one’s who understand more are the one’s who are the least understood. Sad Reality!

 

Only here…

2011-12-22 11.59.24.jpg

Cool Isn’t it?

Only here and no where else in the world can you find the huge difference in not only dialects but entire language. The cultural, ethnic, and religious diversity is something that is celebrated through out the country almost on a daily basis.

If you think that you know enough of this land by knowing what Holi and Diwali means let me tell you are not even close to the reality. Those two are just two of the many more festivals that we have here. And the best part is getting to have lots of national holidays.

One can find people living in pristine locations, holding tightly on to traditions while fast paced cities with busy people having no time for rituals and festivities on a frequent basis. So those villages become cultural hubs.

We too have those super traditional, sometimes little rigid, people living in far away places who do not miss a single festival and even to my surprise have their own festivals. Like extra ones just for them. Our whole culture is about feasting and fasting but regularly because extremism never works for the good so why put a date on it, do it weekly or even for months on end.

Most of these festivals have their roots in changing seasons, moving planets, changing society, familial events oh and the ever so prevalent religion. And we do not shy away from celebrating each other’s festivals. Honestly that is when I have seen humanity at its best and the real vision of, Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam – a Sanskrit phrase meaning “the world is one family”, is in front of my eyes.

Imagine someone being brought up surrounded by love and with the concept of being different and being equal. The simplicity that people share at this point is on another level because it is not about mine or yours and it is all about ours.

Very obviously I do celebrate Holi, Diwali and all the related ones and it might sound strange to you but I have the same amount of enthusiasm for Eid and Christmas. And I do not celebrate in the name of having fun but I like to know the very reason behind celebration because that is how you can really savour it or you end up feeling like an uninvited plus one to some friend of friend’s party.

When I was in college I would take sweets and share with my Muslim friend and with the same heart we waited for her to bring us some of the most amazing sweet dishes they would make on Mithi Eid (lit. translation Sweet Eid). There are more of such stories like legit celebrating Christmas in college. Perplexed?

I and my friends, we all wore some form of red and white on X’mas eve, bunked our classes, found a quiet place, sat, chatted and sang carols. One of the friend was made the Santa, she was supposed to get the gifts. I was the interchange of arranging the Dundee and my most favourite plum cake. While another of us made amazing cards with personal messages, which was a surprise and none of us is even Christian.

Man we had so much fun! Now I miss my college friends and School was fun as well. So only here and any place where a human heart beats humanity comes naturally even when EVERYONE is different.