The fall.

Yes, we all love autumn. Okay maybe not all of us but who does not like the changing weather? I happen to love it. Mostly because the last quarter of the year is all about tying loose ends. Also because it is festival season intertwined with my birthday. Yeah it kind of gets lost in all the fest, but having birthday a day before Diwali makes… either of the two special.

This post is not about the fall, the weather, it is about the lows that each one of us eventually falls into.

Talking of weathers, as the year closes we all feel the need to have some sort of resolution which do not really survive even three weeks of the very first month. But hey! You are not alone we all are like that. When it comes to taking decisions or taking LIFE altering steps, we tend to think big without realising that, big can not be finished or tackled with in a short period of time.

Resolutions like, starting a new diet, plans to quit smoking are a little far fetched in my opinion. It is all in the approach, the anxiety of reaching the finish line makes us dizzy mid-way and meddles with our performance. I am pretty sure that the night of 31st December will not bring in a miracle that would make one quit smoking entirely or eating unhealthy.

Small steps to bigger things. Now that is something we all hear a lot but miss out on adopting in everyday life. Shortcuts do not work, soul sucking relationships do not last, people are not made heartless in one day. I mean, it is “the fall” that changes the whole story.

The great plot twist in each one of our lives either makes or breaks the rest of the personality. The shift in perception is easy to bring about. As kids everyone hopes to get presents on X’mas and when there is no gift on anyone X’mas, we start doubting Santa’s existence. We get heart broken once and we give up on love. We see bad in one person and we start despising the entire community.

These are just examples on how we aim so high on personal level and yet let our perception be changed with the lowest possible cause/reason. One defeat did not make him a failure, one heart break did not make her give up on people, one fall did not stop the kid from riding his bike, it is when things went awry multiple times at some point (as a humans) they gave up.

The falls could make or break, but is success guaranteed after one more try? That is such a hard question to answer. When to stop? Should you just give up on the resolution if you derailed from your path just once, give up on love after one massive heart break?

I believe, the question that needs to be asked are… Are you ready? And whether this is the point where you give up or simply start over?

This last question fascinates me. The very possibility of a re-start, a do-over. Who said life does not give you a second chance? Sure, it might never give you the same supposedly “perfect” conditions ever again in life, but who needs perfect. It is a re-start so just throw a few profanities hither and thither, gather yourself, stand up and go at it again (not again because, it is never a repetition when something is being done for the first time in a whole new way).

After all, it was just ‘a’ fall, just ‘a’ failure, just ‘a’ defeat, for all that matters it only means that you are making progress and not just sitting and waiting for things to change. Which in fact is more dangerous.

Wait a while.

And then you just wait…

A list full of tasks,

Taken care of.

Now I yearn for,

Something new.

A few things shaken.

A lot more changed.

Wanted it to be,

Different form the past.

 

Gathered the perfect soil.

Got some seeds of mine.

My karma as they call it.

I planted them so fine.

A little was moved.

A lot of water showered.

Sun quite bright,

And under the right light.

 

“What do I do now?”

I want it, quickly.

Life demanded that,

I wait for a bit more.

A tiny part of me,

A side I never did see.

I waited, kept waiting,

Until I saw it sprout.

 

With change of seasons.

Only patience helped.

My eyes finally saw,

Saw it grow.

A little taller.

A lot stronger.

All that I sowed.

All that I waited for.

 

Then, I learnt giving up control…

Leaves you feeling lighter.

Sometimes just wait,

A little while longer.

A lot  is getting done…

Before I can reap,

My rightful rewards.

Which I don’t yet see.

 

Be careful what you wish for, be extra careful what you think about. You will reflect your thoughts and it will attract the like. And we reap what we sow!

Ain’t no flattery!

Hello my lovely readers been away for a while, had a few things to sort out. The inevitable change seems to be following me like a bee that is after nectar, seems like a good enough metaphor to sum it up. Nonetheless, on with the poetry bug…

 

Flattery in each endeavour.

When seeking favours.

But no sugar,  no lime.

When it is about friends.

Real words with all mind.

Truth down to every dime.

-Insach

Right? Now that is true form of a relationship because it is much deeper than just favours.

Along the same line here is a ShoutOut to a  really good cover of a millennial music piece. Ain’t no flattery when it comes to showcasing your friends’ talent. In all honesty, this piece was sung and recorded by my friends in their OWN recording STUDIO. Now that is called making it big. Do check it out guys!

Note: The use of certain words from the lyrics is not suitable for younger audience. It is only for entertainment purposes so have fun.

Also, if you are in the Delhi region and are looking for a fabulous studio quality recording you may want to get in touch by their websites:
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Red Circle Productions
FB • https://www.facebook.com/redcircleaudio
Instagram • https://www.instagram.com/redcircleau…
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Singer:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCivc43ANr3w8Cqgd3RxO2yQ

 

 

 

Kindness with no limits.

I have realised that, sometimes I do not even voice my words. I can speak good when I see it and choose ignore the not so good parts about a personality. I think that is called being understanding. At times I fee perhaps I am too kind, too forgiving, too approachable, too easy on others.

I am sure many can relate to this, when they are in a confusing situation because of some moron, wondering if it is appropriate to say anything or wait for the right circumstances. When is it your rightful place to express your disapproval? When is the right time to speak up? I question that a lot.

One habit has been instilled in me and that is to respond and not react. Although, I am happy how this responding and not reacting helps in keeping conflicts away and allows me to analyse situations better. But then again what is the right way and time of this response?

I have never been the one to have great or sassy come backs and honestly most of the times, I just let it go because its useless to let every other person get under my skin. But there are times when it does hurt. Taking the high road is not easy. And gosh do some people know how to get on to your nerves and drive you crazy!

Crazies do not even stop to think before saying hurtful things or being foolish. There should be law against them haha. Why are some people like that? You know the kind that would spit their gum on the path, the kind that body shames every other stranger, the one who’s exists only to make it difficult for others. On the complete opposite many struggle whether they should speak up or simply be the bigger person and let the fool be.

I have talked about this before, but as I have realised, it is not easy to be resilient and it is confusing too like how much of patience is good enough? Also, when we are so accustomed to forgiving and letting go are we not, in a way, allowing these fellows to act as they please?!

The main question still is, what is the correct retaliation and what is the right time and place for it? Talking about the serious matters… How to not hurt someone who has hurt you or yours deeply in some way? It is both scary and liberating to actually avenge, to put someone to their rightful place, to give a piece of your mind to them. Hmmm, would kindness allow that?

This one thought would stop us, me at least, at the end would it even make a difference? Imbeciles are all around and they won’t change, they never realise it is their fault and that my friends is the reason why we must let it go. As strange as it sounds its for our own sake.

It also important to remember that, being kind is okay, to be forgiving even better, but taking a stand is the most important. No need to go as low as the other person. We can use assertion where it works and not hold back from responding with anger if that is the only solution because no one shall suffer for being too kind.

Kindness comes with no limits. Let go of their acts, the hurt caused to you. As I see it, it is about being kind to oneself. Someone drove you to the end of your wits and you reacted the way you never thought you could. So be kind and let go of that too.

Roots and leaves.

He walked past everyone

With his faded undercut.

And a little fragrance on,

Like the autumn leaves.

 

He turned heads for good.

Being a little too clean.

Quite suave this dude.

Like someone out of a dream.

 

They said, “he came from money”

He carried a bright smile.

Pretty bright, always sunny.

“He must not be too wild”

 

Those shades did a good job.

Hid his eyes so well.

No one could ever see.

No one could ever tell.

 

A few did look inside.

Found a deep-seated hurt instead.

Oddly, he was much more.

More than what others read.

 

No one knew the scars,

Wore full sleeves under the sun.

The writings of his past unread.

The ones he hid under the cuffs.

 

He took it to himself.

To stand out and not to follow,

Had to pay the price.

For being different and not shallow.

 

Oh life, the peaceful ones…

“Why do you make them suffer?”

The bullies enjoying…

Like it is no big matter.

 

He learnt to put on an act.

Resilience as his only strength.

And solace his only friend.

Learnt to live what he though was meant.

 

Silence became his only way,

Of keep everything at bay.

Drew eyes to where one won’t see.

The shame he carried deep within.

 

Like a soldier, his feet on the ground.

Pain hidden, shoulders burdened.

Like a tree, showing leaves that survived.

Firmly rooted, only branches wounded

 

I am in poem mood these days. Probably the Autumn is getting to me. Although, the weather really needs to act like it is October.

Anyway this poem goes out to any one who had to go through any kind of bullying experience. I won’t say I was severely affected but it did get a little scary. Mine was just a brief episode of name-calling and the unnecessary attention that I drew being the new kid in School. But the daily news bring a story or two that are very bad.

I for one learnt that, it is important to keep smiling and be strong because things and people do turn around. But this might not always be the case sometimes it can be dangerous and serious, if it is brutal or like getting out of hands always ask for help. Self harm is no way to deal with the pain. Pain does not cut pain, love does.

Helping hands are always there, we just choose to ignore them over trivial reasons like embarrassment etc. Be the soldier, but if you need an army do not be afraid to gather yours. And when past will be in the past you will actually find present to be very lovely.

 

 

The going can be tough.

Been treading on this path.

To reach my right spot.

I might have fallen down.

But I did carry on.

 

One after the other.

Have seen it all uncover.

At times a little tougher.

Other times smoother.

 

Took caution when should have.

Let it loose when could have.

Smiles faked, a few risks taken.

Didn’t let the doubt slip in.

 

Can I always be that strong?

’cause it did go wrong.

Fear crept in anyway.

Left me shaken for days.

 

Shouldn’t have worn,

My heart on my sleeves.

Goodness is in,

The very nature of me.

 

What’s the use? The good suffers too.

Or am I wrong in my ways.

Should I listen to what they say?

But the voices inside won’t go away.

 

Could have given in,

Could have made the din.

But I did not. Not for others.

Even when I felt smothered.

 

And there was a breakthrough…

Hope is not always with you.

With no shoulders to cry on.

To conquer, one must tread on.

 

And in all the after math.

I am happy I did not lose myself.

If nothing else I have me.

What else would I need?

 

Not so strong, not so bold.

Neither can I break a heart or more.

No loud noises, no shouting from me.

But I will prevail and they will see.

 

What ever “it” is!?

Did not have it,

So I craved it.

Could not afford it,

So I wanted it.

 

Finally received it,

So I savoured it.

In time got bored of it,

So I stopped needing it.

 

For granted I took it,

So I forgot to value it.

Only later to lose it,

So I held tightly on to it.

 

It was too late for anything,

And letting go, the hardest bit.

Now, I sit with sweet memories.

Realising the real value of it.