My power, mine!

So much effort and such enthusiasm goes in to the secondary that primary gets forgotten in the run. It is not conditioning of the mind, but replacing a habit and replacing is not same as removing.

That comes to my mind when I hear some one suggesting physical activity as a way to let out some “steam”. So much of health and fitness has become a trend. It is not, by any means, a wrong thing at all but when it comes to the real vigour, the real strength, the real power I think we as a modern civilisation fall back by miles when it comes to mental health.

Put your anger into workout, that is common phrase that I have actually heard people say. No doubt the concentration, the motivation, the hard work required in any physical activity helps discipline the body to get over physical barriers thus making one stronger even mentally, but I do not agree with the following statements…

“Have too much pressure built up? Go punch the bag.”
“Got too much on your mind? Put in your music and jog around.”

What is this if not a new habit of compulsively letting the steam out each time it builds up? Just replacing all the sighing, sulking and whining with lifting weights or punching the bag – I am not sure of the approach, sounds like yet another addition to our quest of finding peace out there.

When I hear some one suggesting physical activity as a stress reliever. I always get confused because we are not really letting out or getting completely over something instead we are putting it all away and that is as worse as it can get. To put all your feelings and emotions aside and then burning out when dealing with it all at once is not good idea.

You can find a million ways to put those feelings aside and get the adrenaline rush to help you get over something for a while. Natural rush is better than alcohol – agreed! But it is a dependence nonetheless. And that is no power. It is all in the head and I have learnt that primary (mental) makes secondary (physical) stronger.

Your power, yours! It lies in getting over a problem not in getting around it.

Chaotic chaos…

Be yourself they say.
With no handbook,
No manual,
It is nothing short of chaotic.

The one I chose to be.
The one you asked me to be.
The one society expects me to be.
Can’t co-exist. It’s chaotic.

The way I want to act.
The way you ask me to act.
The way I am expected to act.
Can’t enact. It’s chaotic.

The things that I do.
The things you want me to do
The things I am expected to do.
Can’t un-do. It’s chaotic.

You will find a way they say,
And with no help,
No guidance,
It is a chaos.

Each to their own,
No one wants to be alone.
Love finds it’s way.
So does chaos one day.

Then you are two.
All gets better..
By each morning sun.
But the chaos stays.

No start, no end.
We re-birth and we die,
Only with chaos…
By our side.

A chaotic mess of chaos is this life – just imperfectly perfect or the other way round.
YOU Choose!

When you fall for it.

There is a lot of buzz about optimism all around us. It is said that, by having a positive outlook we bring much stability to the mind than by being too critical or cynical. It is expected of any person, who is optimistic that they see the brighter side, a new perspective of sorts. Suddenly, they become the rock for everyone else just because they see that tiny ray of hope and cling on to it. But is seeing the silver lining enough in itself? Is that all optimism is about?

As an optimistic, we would try to focus on seeing the positive in every thing and circumstances which overtime will become a habit. This habit in fact is the pitfall of this simple approach. Soon enough we go from seeing to anticipating the positive in everything. As if every cloud will come with a silver lining. I have realised, this is where the problem begins.

When you program your brain to look for the positive you would always expect that there will be a way out, that there is some good in this situation too, that sooner or later your ray of hope will be clear to you. But what about when you can not see it? How to cope up with that?

Actually this is the real test, when a dark cloud over-shadows your life and it has no apparent silver lining, by habit you would start looking for something to hold on to. Something that could help you get through. But it is no where to be found!

So what we have done here is made ourselves, sub-consciously, to expect a door to show up out of no where, that eventually something/anything good will pop up. Sadly that will not always be the case. You meet a grumpy, sadist person and you are trying to look for positive attributes. Won’t work…  Right?

What to do now?

Stop right there and stay unaffected, you be the best you are, you be positive. You see the very beauty of optimism lies not in looking for the brighter side, not in anticipating an emergence of a ray of hope, not in relying on miracles, but staying positive. Notice this  subtle shift from “seeing” positive to “staying” positive.

It indeed is about not giving up, not paying attention to the  darker sides of things, but being a fool – ignorant and blissful. Remembering all the while that life will bring in down falls and when you do fall, it is advisable to not fall any further by anticipating positive outcomes. Expectation only invites pain into life.

So, the next time there is nothing positive, just “be” positive and by being positive you are releasing yourself from looking for a way out. Optimism does not guarantee positive outcomes and life is unfair but when you are not expecting anymore from anyone or anything… The power comes back to you because you smile beautifully NO MATTER WHAT and this guarantees that the journey will be nice if not great.

PS: Easier said than done and If needed, run for your life! Or that sadist might pick up a wrong signal.

 

Fantasy.

An ideal world,
With legendary stories,
Those mythical moments,
and talks of glory…
Of a man who sounds unreal.
Fully nurtured, never ignored,
Showered with love,
With attention and support,
His ears listen.
His words inspire.
Actions like wind,
Changing course of a fire.
Feelings so overwhelming.
That one gets consumed.
Wishful thinking in my core.
Can almost see…
Two beside me,
to pat on my back.
One ahead,
With a hand to hold.
Others around me,
Now raising a glass…
Rejoicing my deeds,
wishing “forever may this last”.
No dullness, no darkness.
Beaming light, pure clarity.
Bringing peace and sanity.
Endless and endless.
Through and through.
And a snap. Oh!
The fantasy ends…
A little too soon.

Percolating thoughts.

As a millennial, I am well aware that many people out there do look down upon us. I am not making an assumption here but speaking from my “professional” experience. There are many reasons but a few that are very common at workplace.

Reason number one, “we lack discipline and motivation”, which I won’t deny because it is kinda true. We are so done with the norms and policies, the so called set ways of behaving and being that it makes it difficult to work with people beyond a certain age-group thus making us not only disinterested but sort of lazy too.

This kind of issue can be avoided at work place by treating young people as young adults, who indeed are inexperienced and in need of guidance instead of seeing them as young kids who waste time. The exact opposite, belittling, is more prevalent. Personally I have not experienced this but even I feel that help without a dash of arrogance is easy to accept and seek. It is barely available.

‘I know I am just being unreasonable now, why would seniors take out a few minutes of their precious time to guide and create resource out of an actual human who is willing to work? How I wonder?’

Reason number two, “we look for shortcuts”. Again, that is not entirely wrong because when something can be done in a quick way why always follow the tried and tested method only? Reason number three follows the theme of the second reason. “We bring in new (useless) knowledge and energy”. This one is more of an insecurity.

‘I mean, “Mr. MBA from the most prestigious institution” you might know all about the economy but there is a new theory out there just accept that you do not know it there is no need to make fun of someone trying to simply contribute. New people will replace you eventually so be easy on them.’

Sadly none of this is new. One theory is that, behavioural issues are everywhere, we face them in daily life but there are certain issues that come up in organisations for example in a house-hold obviously emotions are in the forefront and in commercial organisation politics takes a center stage.

Normally humans go through emotional misunderstandings easily and it is very important to resolve any problems in that area. But would you not expect from the most educated, well informed people with blue collar jobs to be meaningful in their behaviour? Sadly no.

Funny enough, people were easier back in college even though each on of us was so different from the other. Even now the difference in opinions is there, but when it comes to power ego plays a dirty role. In college it was difference in ideologies, backgrounds you know human things but in professional settings the problems are more related to authority, rat race, and age difference.

I am amused at the very thought that big corporates need to have training sessions in conflict resolution, behavioural lessons and what not. It is like teaching adults how to be adults.

Human-ness percolates through our skin like sweat as we progress, and corporates that present themselves as the best and most well behaved (ah! the drama and finesse in superfluousness) leaves the new generation bewildered with all the things that the existing people put up with on a behavioural level.

And now when they are facing a new problem of talent retention, every HR is wondering why are they not able to hold on to employees? Duh, it is so because money is the only thing guaranteed in a job and more the merrier. They had it coming.

In conclusion, we grow up to become more complex and egoistic… wait a minute! Aren’t the so called professional courses, diplomas, management degrees supposed to make us better? As I see it, we feed our brains with bookish knowledge to the point that we need classes on how to human. Funny sad that is.

No life skills taught, no life skills adopted, none utilised. We learnt trades, forsook sanity, peace, most importantly human-ness. The warmth is gone and it is all so cold so people percolate in search of better.

It is filthy

The stars shine bright in a clear sky,
But in this filthy light I can’t see.
The sun rays would be strong,
But the filthy dust won’t let it be.

The love was real the love was pure,
Then filthy ideologies tore people away.
Simplicity of words got destroyed,
By the filthy games some did play.

Neither around us nor inside us,
Then why see filth in others?
Kindness may bring disappointment,
But the heart won’t be cautious only free.

Who do you trust? Who do you not?
Of all the questions that’s what we ask?
Believing that through the veil of innocence,
The deceit and filth quietly stares.

 

 

Tart!?

Sometimes we run away from situations and other times we must run away from them for they are just too tart or will soon be beyond tart and we all know what that is like – spoilt, useless, and smelly. The taste of which will linger on even when you think all is done and forgotten in the past, not so much my friend.

As much as one can be understanding and respecting of others if you ever encounter some one just crossing all limits of being self absorbed – abort mission at that instant. After having seen the ways of those around me, I have to come to a conclusion that people are not good or bad but merely those who still try to be human and those who  have forgotten that they are humans.

One solution – run, run farther and faster because one fish can and will spoil the ocean. More importantly your mood and your whole day or even your hard work will hit a low. So it is better to keep away from this tart behaviour. I have saved myself from some major rifts this way.

They say you can run away but not hide from anything. When it comes to circumstance brought in by others you do have the free will to stand up against it or just give up after having dealt with it. After all you are either putting up with or changing a situation remembering that people never change. As the final resort you might as well run!

A lot of us would stick with a person or bear a situation just because we feel like there is no way out. Honestly who are you lying to? When you do not choose to fight you indirectly choose to accept so do not label it with having no choices. When you do not choose is actually “a choice to not choose anything”.

We are free to choose and I chose to shun those who were too tart. I am a behaviour snob yes I am and I like sweet better. Then again who does not?

The air is irksome

I am on a break for a little soul searching. The break is nearing its end but I was happy as it ends with my birthday, Diwali and the rest of the festivals. It was all so smooth and amazing until the very next day of Diwali, the day whole city got covered with a thick blanket of smog.

People get rains on their parade and we as an entire city got poisonous gas. I mean literally if you guys have not heard about it, Delhi is under an air emergency right now. It is not only irksome it is really over the top frustrating and not just a botheration anymore that could be put aside with a label like “pollution” because it has turned into an actual health hazard.

I did not really get out of my house ever since the smog attack but yesterday I planned to meet my friends just because it’s been long time. We took precaution and planned to meet at some one’s place instead of wandering in the open – knowing how dangerous it is, we did avoid it but ultimately had to walk a little (in the transit) and boy did I underestimate the headlines. Reality is equally as bad as the media’s portrayal of the whole issue.

The smog is really bad obviously it has caused a few road accidents and breathing problems to countless people who suffer from breathing ailments, but even for some one with no such health problems the air is deadly. It literally caused me and my friends to cough so much and irritation that it caused in our throats and eyes was unbelievable! It stayed for hours even after I got back home.

I can only feel for those who have to work outside in the open, homeless people living on streets or people who have no options really. If 15 minutes of exposure made me suffer that much I can not and do not want to imagine what these people must be going through. Honestly, they already have problems of their own and clean air to breathe is the last thing any human has but not anymore I guess – this is really beyond sad!

My friend Tonya suffered with congestion and now goes to office with a mask on her face, many Schools are closed and many offices have allowed work from home – what a time to be alive!

I do not know what keeps going wrong and where. A country with an uncontrollable population is bound to struggle on every level but when it comes to things that we as humans need to take care of we are failing miserably. I do not want to be political because we all are in this together. If the government fell back on its 42 point pollution control plan then, many of the citizens did not hold back from burning fire-crackers even after knowing that.

So the need of the hour is to actually plan ahead, coming up with solutions to each problem when it pops up is just not the way. All the work needs to be done along the lines of sustainable development and prevention over cure. The education and wealth disparity in this land is absurd. That is where we should begin.

You won’t believe the scariest incident – the irony – while I was out with my friends we crossed a bunch of kids burning fire-crackers. Thoughts ran through my head; where are their parents? Are they that unaware or simply unaffected by their surroundings that they are acting like this?

And they say we all are in this together but considering this population ignorance and illiteracy will be the death of us. I just want to run away no matter how irresponsible or hilarious that sounds.

Times like these make me question only one thing – What are we headed into? I miss my home town so much at this point – simpler people, simpler ways of life, hills and nature all around. Those were the days.