I have this constant feeling like there is no single person who knows me completely. I mean, the world doesn’t need too know it all, but I feel like I am one of those people who observes a lot and expresses the least and in some way it does become suffocating. Well, it makes sense why I write, quite an effective method to release my thoughts.
I try to be aware every moment, not like I am a follower of mindfulness or anything au-contraire I have this habit of over-thinking. It only helps that I am aware of it. Sometimes it feels like I push myself too much and instead of stopping myself from reacting to a situation mindlessly, I end up not responding at all which is usually followed by a lot of suffering. Silence can be easily taken advantage of and you get taken for granted frequently. Sometimes, it is stressful be nice!
So is forced peace and quiet a trap of its own? Yes, it is. If it was not, people would speak their minds and be free instead of going to the extent of resting in peace forever. What I have learnt is, If you are not happy do not force it, life is an actual roller-coaster just roll with it.
Coming back to the point, It is definitely magical to be in a place where you get to choose how you want to feel. Sticks and stones may break my bones, words do not. Umm, excuse-me, but if you are in anyway sensitive as I am then, being in control to have an appropriate response every-time becomes an additional task apart from having to manage your emotions. What an emotional mess!
In some ways world is what it is, and we can walk like the nicest people around, but is too much to ask others, specially those who walk like they own the ground that they walk upon, to be slightly considerate. I do not believe that it is a dog eat dog world but honestly there are people who lack any form of sensibility. Oh, if people cared a little more about others than themselves – what a world would it be?
But yes, there is no point in whining about it and at the same time does it leave anyone who we call as our own. Family and friends we have aplenty but can we expect an unconditional-support from them, somewhere down the line there will be a a conflict and only those who are understanding of the fact that people are different would stick around. This is what makes it so hard to talk about anything and I mean “anything” with fellow people that we call as our own.
Think of the last time you did not have to think before you spoke, I feel like we are not only getting politically correct in the social sphere but also in our bedrooms. If you convey your raw thoughts, people might call you crass but if you shove BS with a bow tied on the top, they will happily take it. Weird, right!?
Anyway, what really worries me sometimes is how insensitivity or dead-serious has become equivalent to being-in-power. I wish people talked more, listened more, danced and sung a little more than becoming like robots.
We actually have a responsibility of picking others up, helping them out, of caring. Be it in friendship, love, or authority we should all collectively put an effort to become someone who others can confined in so at least they can dare to share. And if you have some one like that in your life, hold on to them.