Why obey?

The times are such that everything is seen in a different light. Either it is a shift in perspective or it is something that we unconsciously have called upon ourselves. Think words that begin with “new age”. We are referring to things as new age, but are they really? Well, this is a huge topic that a millennial could rant about, but I am going to stick to obedience in this one.

So I have noticed that, you could ask someone to do any sort of thing if you use love and it won’t be seen as using any force or wrong means. Love is not unfair at least seemingly it is not. Although, that does count as manipulation, which is bad on an entirely different level, but it is not physically harmful – Right? Love works in many ways.

People are making up notions after notions and more the beliefs the farther we move from reality. For instance there are people who think that authority means respect and obedience must automatically come to them – oh, the dilemma of many a managers people these days. 

It all begins with using someone who is needy or manipulating people for their simplicity and soon enough drunk with power authorities mistake this submission for obedience. See there is that change in perspective.

Sooner or later one person comes along who is not scared enough, scared but not enough, who is not easy to control, and they simply disobey which shakes the very foundation of so called powerful people which in turn can make them violent.

It is easy to feel invincible, specially around someone submissive but this same sense of dominance and this approach has seen silent revolutions overthrowing many a powerful authorities in the past. And here we are again sort of repeating it or ignoring it. You and I are one or the other – stuck in it, too afraid to make a move or overlooking it because why get involved.

There are so many things that could make us fearful, when we are pushed enough we finally break and hell breaks loose too but why wait that long. Fear is just another mental reaction. Hard to overcome but not impossible and no one is alone anyway. So disobey!

One’s qualities make people fond of them and then they follow and that is loyalty, that is obedience. Obey only when presented with humanity not even love. You see love is just another tool – some use it well and others use it very well – selfless and selfish, we got both types so be careful.

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Shiny on the surface

The grass is not only greener from a distance but everything is in glitter. What we have we can not appreciate what we do not have, our desire for it keeps us from enjoying the present and whatever shines must become one of our possessions.

It is our nature to look out for ourselves and we try to obtain the best of what is available but even when we are all moving forward and polishing more than just the outer surface as humans it is only natural to miss a spot or two on the inside.

Missing spots only makes us humans, makes us normal, I mean who is perfect anyway. I might be shiny on the surface but I have my darker side too and as duality exists in reality there is no good without bad. It is mostly by choice that one is good because it really does not matter these days, it is not really useful as compared to being cunning.

But even with all the talk over this, the goodness and the good, strange things still happen. Mr. Trump did win after all, right? I do not have an opinion on how good he will be as a politician because I am not even in the US, but there have been enough occasions where his behaviour, to put it politely, was questionable.

So as my point is, even when we are heading into this state of common consciousness where we all know a lot, all share a lot, and everyone is talking a lot about the bigger and the better, most of it is out on the surface. Not that it is bad, at least there is a talk, but unless it comes from deep within we can not expect a triumph of good over evil any soon.

What is a shiny car with an old engine, it might look good but it is only a show piece and that is not what is car is for.

 

Enthusiasmic Poem

Enthusiasm? After looking at the prompt I have lost mine. What a strange one! Some days daily prompts surprise you and other days they are just meh. Even the dictionary has one fixed meaning for this word – It just can not be played with. But going by my habit I could try sharing my opinion. Here we go.

Enthusiasm is a good thing but rarely found these days because let’s be honest even the meme culture favours the idea of sleeping over dealing with life. According to a scientific finding hitting the snooze button decreases your life by the minute and people’s reaction, sort of unanimous reaction, to this was, “huh! I’ll die doing the thing I love”. I guess that speaks for itself. So much for enthusiasm!

So there you go, call it my millennial mind set where being in your twenties means you are old. Old enough to make your life choices which mostly lead to juggling a social life, a personal life, a celebrity-like life (where each tweet and insta post is so so necessary), a life that requires knowing this world, a so called professional life, oh and somewhere in between all this a thing called sleeping!

The most ignored thus most loved activity of all, which does not qualify as an activity to begin with.

The trend of multitasking at life is so on right now. It is like, if you are not like, in it, like if you are not following the trend like you are not cool enough and I mean really? That many likes in one sentence? So if you are wondering, as I am, where is all the enthusiasm going? Apparently, in to these trends.

Style is a trend – makes sense, but you can make hate a trend too (ooh and click-baits are a thing too) everything trends! Don’t believe me try it on your own – one can make anything the “thing”. You will be surprised at the things that can be sold under the name of trend and the crowd would buy it enthusiastically. But then again this is just a rant and if it was not for these pop-culture millennial trends I wouldn’t know what to write for today’s not so interesting prompt.

Nonetheless…
Too much enthusiasm meets pain,
For expectations lies in our brain.
No enthusiasm is only bad,
As frowns only make us sad.
Let’s be happy and spread some jolly,
A dash of gusto can kill melancholy.

Exhale.

Relax! The thing I keep reminding myself.
Relax! The thing I keep suggesting.
Inhale, I must instead.
Exhale, I must suggest.

Relax, do you mean re-lax?As in go back to being less careful “again”. Normally an English word with ‘re’ as a prefix commonly suggests the repetition of an action – like repeating the verb containing the prefix. When it comes to relaxing is it even possible?

Who has truly experienced calmness to be able to re-visit that state of low or no anxiety. These days stress is as normal as anger and as uncommon as a smile. ‘Relax’ does not explain the process so, the appropriate word would be ‘breathe’ because that is something we all can and need to re-do and that too properly.

Our mind has a thousand thoughts and they are enough to make us happy or sad let alone the external environment – ughh life is such a task honestly. But at the end of the day everyone has to roll with it and those who let go easily are happier than who do/can not.

Letting go is not only for the thoughts or the pent up emotions, it is also for the breath that you took and have not released yet. That is anxiety, the feeling of suffocation causing the panic.

We have all heard the age old saying – breathe! And I think the very core of life gets hit the hardest when it comes to anxiety and stress. The breathing pattern is one of the signs of being alive an also of good health. And in stress, being unaware, we tend to lose our hold on it. Some suffocate others hyper-ventilate.

So when ever you feel uneasy or too anxious do not just relax, inhale and exhale actively instead. It is nothing new but everything that is not new or anything that is categorised as “I already know this…” is mostly ignored. There is a reason they call it focusing on your centre, after all what are we without the air – dead! Control it and stabilise the core like a king or a queen (which ever you prefer hehe).

WTH! (blabber)

I actually do not know where to begin on this one. So here is my panoply of the most weirdest people I have ever met in my life. I have mentioned a lot about my childhood and that I had to move into new places all the time and if nothing else I got to learn to adjust with new personalities. And today it comes in as a handy skill.

But then you come across some of the most complex creatures who leave you dumbstruck. For some time now, perhaps because as a grown up I meet new people frequently than before, I have come across way too many who make me roll my eyes and seek a clarification because I am never sure whether they actually meant what they said or it was a slip of tongue.

I know that everyone has opinions and behavioural patterns so we have to respect every person even when we do not respect their opinion, but some are just too extreme, a little too salty, a little to self absorbed, a complete bully, and some even downright inhuman.

Lets call this person A. So A was all sweet and good to me but for what? To exploit me. You know like a lamb being prepared for slaughter and sadly these folks are too easy to find and there is no dearth of the kind in a “professional” setting either.

And B was so crazy with their abrupt and violent way of speech. They would actually fight with colleagues just because, you know authority is synonym to bullying. Telling your team mates to develop the skill to fight others in the office –  I was actually given that advice and when I thought it was a joke, it was not. Using others as human shields was their best skill and they still work there. So “professional“!

Third one is a recent story. So I had like the worst interview ever. You will not even believe half of the things that happened. To begin with I do not understand why some HRs do not go through the C V before hand. Is it not what they are paid for; screening candidates. So, I was made to recite the entire resume like a child reciting a poem.

In the next round. This person (interviewer) had no idea who the next candidate was, and when I entered the room the interviewer said, “So what about you Insach?” That is what they kept on repeating, “So what about you Insach?” I was confused so I sought a  clarification as to whether they want my introduction or is it something else they want – the reply to my query was “maybe”.

Again I was confused.

Maybe? What is this a guessing game? I started getting really uncomfortable and had a feeling that, this was going to be an utter waste of time. The lines were crossed when the interviewer said, “all your experience is useless and why are you still studying, it is no use getting a management diploma” Like honestly who even says something like that?

Now, there I was just being quiet and courteous because that is what you do. People like that should get reported but the main question is why and how are they still accepted as a normal part of that (any) organisation.

Not to mention when it was my turn to enquire about the job and workplace. I had three specific questions – what is the current work and what will I be handed over? Why did the earlier employee left? How long has the position been vacant? etc And the replies were as follows; “No one will tell you the current scenario.” “I do not why they left, I am the interviewer so do not take my interview!” sounded pissed “The position has been vacant 2 months” almost went crazy as if I was speaking an alien language.

And I was left with… WHAT THE HELL?

Also, In the words of Stephen Hawking, “dangerous moments” that is what we are headed towards.

Percolating thoughts.

As a millennial, I am well aware that many people out there do look down upon us. I am not making an assumption here but speaking from my “professional” experience. There are many reasons but a few that are very common at workplace.

Reason number one, “we lack discipline and motivation”, which I won’t deny because it is kinda true. We are so done with the norms and policies, the so called set ways of behaving and being that it makes it difficult to work with people beyond a certain age-group thus making us not only disinterested but sort of lazy too.

This kind of issue can be avoided at work place by treating young people as young adults, who indeed are inexperienced and in need of guidance instead of seeing them as young kids who waste time. The exact opposite, belittling, is more prevalent. Personally I have not experienced this but even I feel that help without a dash of arrogance is easy to accept and seek. It is barely available.

‘I know I am just being unreasonable now, why would seniors take out a few minutes of their precious time to guide and create resource out of an actual human who is willing to work? How I wonder?’

Reason number two, “we look for shortcuts”. Again, that is not entirely wrong because when something can be done in a quick way why always follow the tried and tested method only? Reason number three follows the theme of the second reason. “We bring in new (useless) knowledge and energy”. This one is more of an insecurity.

‘I mean, “Mr. MBA from the most prestigious institution” you might know all about the economy but there is a new theory out there just accept that you do not know it there is no need to make fun of someone trying to simply contribute. New people will replace you eventually so be easy on them.’

Sadly none of this is new. One theory is that, behavioural issues are everywhere, we face them in daily life but there are certain issues that come up in organisations for example in a house-hold obviously emotions are in the forefront and in commercial organisation politics takes a center stage.

Normally humans go through emotional misunderstandings easily and it is very important to resolve any problems in that area. But would you not expect from the most educated, well informed people with blue collar jobs to be meaningful in their behaviour? Sadly no.

Funny enough, people were easier back in college even though each on of us was so different from the other. Even now the difference in opinions is there, but when it comes to power ego plays a dirty role. In college it was difference in ideologies, backgrounds you know human things but in professional settings the problems are more related to authority, rat race, and age difference.

I am amused at the very thought that big corporates need to have training sessions in conflict resolution, behavioural lessons and what not. It is like teaching adults how to be adults.

Human-ness percolates through our skin like sweat as we progress, and corporates that present themselves as the best and most well behaved (ah! the drama and finesse in superfluousness) leaves the new generation bewildered with all the things that the existing people put up with on a behavioural level.

And now when they are facing a new problem of talent retention, every HR is wondering why are they not able to hold on to employees? Duh, it is so because money is the only thing guaranteed in a job and more the merrier. They had it coming.

In conclusion, we grow up to become more complex and egoistic… wait a minute! Aren’t the so called professional courses, diplomas, management degrees supposed to make us better? As I see it, we feed our brains with bookish knowledge to the point that we need classes on how to human. Funny sad that is.

No life skills taught, no life skills adopted, none utilised. We learnt trades, forsook sanity, peace, most importantly human-ness. The warmth is gone and it is all so cold so people percolate in search of better.

Tart!?

Sometimes we run away from situations and other times we must run away from them for they are just too tart or will soon be beyond tart and we all know what that is like – spoilt, useless, and smelly. The taste of which will linger on even when you think all is done and forgotten in the past, not so much my friend.

As much as one can be understanding and respecting of others if you ever encounter some one just crossing all limits of being self absorbed – abort mission at that instant. After having seen the ways of those around me, I have to come to a conclusion that people are not good or bad but merely those who still try to be human and those who  have forgotten that they are humans.

One solution – run, run farther and faster because one fish can and will spoil the ocean. More importantly your mood and your whole day or even your hard work will hit a low. So it is better to keep away from this tart behaviour. I have saved myself from some major rifts this way.

They say you can run away but not hide from anything. When it comes to circumstance brought in by others you do have the free will to stand up against it or just give up after having dealt with it. After all you are either putting up with or changing a situation remembering that people never change. As the final resort you might as well run!

A lot of us would stick with a person or bear a situation just because we feel like there is no way out. Honestly who are you lying to? When you do not choose to fight you indirectly choose to accept so do not label it with having no choices. When you do not choose is actually “a choice to not choose anything”.

We are free to choose and I chose to shun those who were too tart. I am a behaviour snob yes I am and I like sweet better. Then again who does not?

Kindness with no limits.

I have realised that, sometimes I do not even voice my words. I can speak good when I see it and choose ignore the not so good parts about a personality. I think that is called being understanding. At times I fee perhaps I am too kind, too forgiving, too approachable, too easy on others.

I am sure many can relate to this, when they are in a confusing situation because of some moron, wondering if it is appropriate to say anything or wait for the right circumstances. When is it your rightful place to express your disapproval? When is the right time to speak up? I question that a lot.

One habit has been instilled in me and that is to respond and not react. Although, I am happy how this responding and not reacting helps in keeping conflicts away and allows me to analyse situations better. But then again what is the right way and time of this response?

I have never been the one to have great or sassy come backs and honestly most of the times, I just let it go because its useless to let every other person get under my skin. But there are times when it does hurt. Taking the high road is not easy. And gosh do some people know how to get on to your nerves and drive you crazy!

Crazies do not even stop to think before saying hurtful things or being foolish. There should be law against them haha. Why are some people like that? You know the kind that would spit their gum on the path, the kind that body shames every other stranger, the one who’s exists only to make it difficult for others. On the complete opposite many struggle whether they should speak up or simply be the bigger person and let the fool be.

I have talked about this before, but as I have realised, it is not easy to be resilient and it is confusing too like how much of patience is good enough? Also, when we are so accustomed to forgiving and letting go are we not, in a way, allowing these fellows to act as they please?!

The main question still is, what is the correct retaliation and what is the right time and place for it? Talking about the serious matters… How to not hurt someone who has hurt you or yours deeply in some way? It is both scary and liberating to actually avenge, to put someone to their rightful place, to give a piece of your mind to them. Hmmm, would kindness allow that?

This one thought would stop us, me at least, at the end would it even make a difference? Imbeciles are all around and they won’t change, they never realise it is their fault and that my friends is the reason why we must let it go. As strange as it sounds its for our own sake.

It also important to remember that, being kind is okay, to be forgiving even better, but taking a stand is the most important. No need to go as low as the other person. We can use assertion where it works and not hold back from responding with anger if that is the only solution because no one shall suffer for being too kind.

Kindness comes with no limits. Let go of their acts, the hurt caused to you. As I see it, it is about being kind to oneself. Someone drove you to the end of your wits and you reacted the way you never thought you could. So be kind and let go of that too.

Breakdowns

I might be a fool considering I left my job in this economy. But it is cool because I enjoy being called one.

The root cause of all bad in life is fear or at least the negative thoughts that start taking a toll on the body. Fear is in the head, anxiety in our behaviour and panic affects our being. Breakdowns happen; leaving us petrified, unable to move, speak or even breathe!

One could work on those fears but sometimes fears win, fear cripples lives. Once fear takes over, the pattern of running away from the triggers becomes a habit until one day when the past comes back to life and all seems to fall down as panic grips so hard it almost feels like a heart attack and leaves one emotionally drained.

This powerlessness renders the body weak. Weak to the point that taking another step seems impossible. I know this is not even close to the what people suffering from anxiety or panic disorders go through, but it is a horrible experience to say the least.

I feel these problems are more common now than ever. I see how young School kids use words like hate and love in the context of their peers or the world in general without realising the impact of using such strong words.

The times and life might have gotten complex and fast paced but in no way has it become necessary to panic over the littlest of things. Not to belittle some one else’s problems but their are people who react so spontaneously on little things and get nervous breakdowns over normal everyday situations.

Dependency is to be blamed.

There was a time when boredom was seldom and today if the WiFi is not working for an hour, every one starts sulking (that includes me) and we start wondering what to do? While as a kid majority of the time was spent outside the house; walking, talking, playing and now, except for the neighbour’s WiFi’s name, I do not even know who actually lives in the neighbour-hood.

Today homework is headache, exams are a headache, social events are a headache, talking to people is an issue, making friends, finding love, getting a job, working everything seems so unusually forced and more and more it seems like everyone is doing what has to be done and not what they love doing.

No, we are just messing up the whole point and definition of living.

For instance, a lot of work goes in the presentation of things and then labeling the best representation that, originality is thrown out of the window – like a scared pup it hides in one corner, over powered thus, commencing a pattern of self-deprecation and trying to meet the generalised standards, norms, trends, what not!

Please do not.

So many youngsters are hyper-emotional and will accept that their most enjoyable activity is sleeping. Honestly, this is not because they are tired. One can NOT be twenty and tired unless they are actually not sleeping even for six hours, it is not sleep that they want, it is peace of mind and sleep is just the perfect form of escape from the reality.

As psychology suggests depression leads one to eat too much, talk too much, sleep too much, or the opposite – it simply leads to extreme always. And look around is anything short of extreme.

Actual things that people say:

“Some one says something about me, I am gonna give them a piece of my mind.”

“Something breaks down, that is it life has ended, I have nothing to do.”

“Something is too hard to bear, I just can’t!”

Speaking from personal experience running away is going to make it hard to handle anything in life. Just accept that life with all its bumps is going to be alright, we better go over those bumps and not around them because the further we run from something, the closer we get to the next big problem. And then we will panic!

Breathe, smile, and be you. There is so much pleasure in being the fool, believe me fools are happier. Otherwise this world… I just can’t! LOL

Bling-a-Zing

You know when you are feeling it, but do not really have the strength to do it, you would still go for it because, well, you are feeling it. And then again you would be so in to the moment and full of energy, but not feeling it and you would give up and give away perhaps one of the best things or experiences in the world. It is kind of hilarious how one person’s amazing might not even be on another person’s to-do list.

It is all about the bling these days. What shines might not be gold but everybody would at least have a look at it if not go for it. What shines, sells. What is heard, spreads. What is seen, believed and what is to choose, is chosen. The choices now, they are based on the zing. I never choose unless I am all about it. That is zing!

Lets talk about this very zing dying each moment a little inconvenience crosses my life. I mean it has become such a pattern I suppose or is it that life indeed has taken a complete new form and structure these days. Honestly it is both, a change in life style and the life that I lived as a kid was surrounded by like-minded people. Sadly, not the same anymore.

As a millennial, all I got during my student life was lots and lots of comfort and as obvious it is growing up requires you to step out of that comfort – be it four walls of your school surrounded by friends or the four walls of your home surrounded by the best people in the world. And one day you are done, done with being a kid and you are on your own in this massive globe, on a tiny country in a small city with humongous population and people that come from all walks of life.

On one hand there are jerks all over the world and sometimes they come in flocks – no doubt in that the only way is to run away from them, while on the other hand you have just people. Random people, strangers, normal… going about life just like you and me. But the biggest difference here is that, you are alone and no one of your age group accompanies you in this part of the journey. Your friends are going through the same and you come to realise how young and sometimes naive you are in this social/professional world. Naive by being real, by being pure, by being plain innocent.

As far as my personal experience goes for some strange reason I never felt as much of generation gap between me and my parents or even grand parents as much as with people who are not even 10 years older to me. Talking about them I have met a few who are not able to let go of the child in them and they seemed pretentiously childish and those who have accepted their age were sort of too strict with their notions thus disregarding every and anything that young ones have to say or do. Not generalising just sharing!

It is but life’s stage and in this phase where you are the young one, the new one, is seriously a point that might lead to loss of zing because it makes you wonder is that what you are headed to? Becoming indifferent? First stuck with the child in you and then having to act your age.

I feel we lose it, we lose it in its very essence, the zing is gone because you see and learn that innocence will be taken advantage of and soon you too would be fake and lame like some people I have come across. Not that every one is fake but who is being real anymore? It is hard to figure out. And it is does not make one cool by laughing off every matter.

It won’t be such a charade if we just acted and said what we really wanted to instead of what is age appropriate and what satisfies the ego. It steals away all the zing in name of the bling.