Maze of life.

The thing about a maze is that, you know for sure that it is going to be confusing, difficult, and very tiring to get through it. The thing about life is that, time and again we have been told that it is a big bad world out there but stories always have two sides.

A maze is known to be treacherous from its point A to point B. You know the start and the end and you are fully aware that you chose to venture into it. It is a conscious choice which gives us a sense of responsibility for every turn we take unlike life where some like to believe that everything that happens internally happens just out of the blue.

Well, like Dumbledore said, “the maze changes people” or something like that. And in reality it does the same. Maybe not as magically and extravagantly but a maze will test you and tests will change you.

Why correlate it to life?
A Journey is mostly unpredictable but in a maze you know you will encounter one problem after the other and despite being prepared we struggle to get through a maze. But the certainty of reaching the end and being rewarded keeps us going. Kind of how fanatics can do absolutely inhuman things just because they believe their actions are in the name of good. What place better than paradise, right?

So it is the certainty of the end that keeps us going when we are in maze or stuck in similar situations. And the funny thing about life is no one knows the beginning no one knows the end. And no one has ever figured out how to go about the one thing that has been left on us to experience – the journey.

So we like to be calculative and try to predict things by observing patterns; physical, mental, behavioural, perhaps even extrapolate them to surroundings and the position of the starts above. All this is just to make things a little more sensible, a little predictable. So we fall in the trap of defining things, people, phenomena and what not. The only thing that needs to be known is that there is no right or wrong way of going about it. You will only know what lies ahead of you once you dare to take the twist, the next turn, the courage that gets us out of the maze will help in getting through it all.

The path is set. The directions are not, You could walk alone, take a partner along or even an entourage if you wish. But let’s remember that it is not about why did I end up where I am right now. Instead asking how? and then never repeating it is the way to arrive at “what next?”.

The “next” is always just another step, twist or a turn and like they have always said life is about the journey. So let’s not get stuck in other mazes that life offers.

None taken.

Disagreements are pretty common and many people get over them easily. Some require a little more than a talk to get over things. Misunderstandings are a part and parcel of people with reactive attitudes. This does not mean that the entire blame lies on them. The one who misunderstood would get the gibe (most of the times), but an equal responsibility must be shared by the one who said the things that led to all this.

Ha! this is one of those really confusing situations but it totally depends on the kind of people you are dealing with. You know how sometimes things just come out wrong or in a way that you did not really intended them to sound. Nonetheless, the immediate realisation by the speaker hints that, they understand what they have said does not really sound correct (or as these days politically correct).

Well life is not meant to be politically correct all the time and it is alright to be conscious of this when in dialogue with strangers but mostly misunderstandings happen between two very close people. Ha! another of those funny but real-confusing realities of life.

Now, this does not mean that one speaks, the other gets hurt and that is the end of it all. Neither should it mean the one who “supposedly” got hurt unleashes a wrath on the speaker nor is it all meant to be ignored. But none should react,  its just a chain reaction; I say, you misunderstand, you react, I defend, you do not let go, I do not accept it, I react and we fight! So choose none, just be one.

Looking back, as kids nothing really mattered there were no misunderstandings because there were no preconceived notions, no hurts carried over from past experiences, nothing to really correlate one thing with the other and make a mess out of it. It was plain and simple. That is the only thing that changes as we grow up. We start believing we just know it all, and we do but unfortunately without much clarity.

From none to a ton. Tonnes of thoughts get processed and we like to read between the lines a little too often. Where ever the trust has gone? I feel like understanding the fact that not many people really give a second thought to things they say or do while others are exactly opposite, should bring  an acceptance of each others’ harmless comments.

So while the only truth is THE misunderstanding the problem takes a shape of “you never understand me” “well, how am I suppose to know that. I do not read mind” etc etc etc. It goes back and forth, and the egos would not let either just take the blame and move on. In the process neither would bend but won’t mind breaking each other. That is just sad.

So to save ourselves the pain let’s just handle this the way we do it with strangers, “no offence!” “Oh, none taken”.

Awareness

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Be aware or not the sun shines above us at all times. 

2017-42/365:
Randomly took this picture while I was waiting for my friends. I was just aware of the sun shining through, after all it is too conspicuous even if you are trying to hide, it will find you out. We had fun today, they same old meeting, walking and eating with some serious talks later on about true friendship. Either we have grown older and perhaps wiser or we were just aware of the fact that, what ever was being said was one’s own opinion or grievance thereof and we must accept people and the differences as they are.

Now going on with the same theme… I believe awareness comes in two forms, as is with many things in life, external and internal. It is easy and one must know their surroundings, not necessarily everything about it but every detail about the little bit of what they know, but what we do instead is fill ourselves with the next information that comes our way so while we are looking at the forest we forget to see it for the trees.

It is easy to be aware of what crosses your filter with physical information because we are good at categorising it. The problem comes when we try to be aware internally. It is good and easy to make healthy life choices, but how many of us make healthy emotional choices too? Not many in my opinion. I have realised that only a person who is aware internally can make those choices.

This is because any one who is aware of himself does not act out of feelings rather he would take a back seat and watch his thoughts like an audience to his own turbulent emotions thus seeing more than one option for his course of action. There is a difference between flowing in your emotions and watching your emotions.

This by no way means that one is not allowed to feel their deepest of emotions. One must let them flow but by being aware you row your boat in the currents of your feelings instead of your feelings deciding your course. Honestly, that sounds like true power to me.

The only way to achieve this awareness is to do the exact opposite of what we do when we  are making choices (externally) and that is to not make a choice at all. Just take a back seat. I have seen that not holding onto feelings is better in the long run, you are truly burden-less and what else would you need?

Being internally aware requires a pause not a filter, it requires prirotising not categorising, it requires attentive processing not ignoring the emotions (being aware) thus allowing a response and not a reaction.

 

 

Critical

This is one of my most favourite doha and I still remember it. A doha is lyrical verse format that can be found in many old Hindi poems. This doha, by Kabir Das, in particular among many others fits in today’s prompt; Criticize.

निंदक नियरे राखिये, आँगन कुटी छवाय |
बिन पानी बिन साबुन, निर्मल करे सुभाव ||

Phonetics:

Nindak nearey rākhiye, āngan kuti chawāye.
Bin pani bin sābun, nirmal kare subhāv.

Literal translation:

(Keep a) critic very close to yourself, in your courtyard (perhaps).
Without water without soap, (they’d) purify your behaviour.

So when it comes to criticism I like to follow this very doha that speaks of keeping your critics so close  almost in your own house so that their words will constantly fall on your ears and that will go a long way in keeping you grounded. Critics give it to you as it is which will surely keep our ego from inflating, in my opinion that is a win-win.

Better not resist.

There are a few things that we want in life but can go without except for contentment, as in satisfaction, and as many possible ways as there are to get this satisfaction we all have our own little sometimes private  way of filling ourselves up – emotionally!

It is of no use to work all the time. Let life happen as you work not before or after. You can not take time for living, one should not have to take time out for life, right? We need to check our priorities.

Other times a pause, a vacation, is the need and you better not resist this need. I am back from my break. After all, the contentment from physical world is nothing if the emotional turbulence inside us is at peak. Have a break have more than just a kit-kat.

I will upload a few pictures soon, one of them is up link is here.

Reasons

We are capable of distinguishing between things that make us happy or sad but today I realised that, when it comes to being sad I need to bring one sad thought and the other ones just follow and in a minute I can be in that mood where all I am doing is just rolling my eyes like meh. This highlights the fact that when I am happy or actually in a state of being myself, my own, and in bliss I do not really have reasons for it.

Is that not amazing, to know that sadness comes from a million things and happiness from literally nothing; just be in the moment. Be rest assured soon enough you will try to find a reason behind your happiness and poof it will vanish, honestly do not do that.

It is like being at a party not thinking about anything and suddenly you are reminded of your struggles making it impossible to get your spirits up again while all we must do is be in ignorance. You know what? Problems exist but we do not have to carry them all the time in our heads because, worrying is never gonna help and I know it is painful when it hurts (tell me about that) but that is when we must focus on the reasons that make us happy.

Other times let the nature takes its course sing, dance, smile, make others smile be so high on life that problems get scared of you.

Let’s be unreasonably happy not reasonably sad. – Insach

Meant to be.

We make promises.
Bigger than us,
Bigger than love,
It may not seem just.
Yet happens with all of us.
We cling to an idea,
An idea of them.
An idea of there.
Expecting life to be our way.
It might not be the same…
The reality in today.
So be ready for worse,
At least that will help adjust.
But how can we keep up
How can we go on
If we’re clung on to the past?
The time that turned to dust…
Is of no use to us.
And the broken, perhaps…
Wasn’t even meant to last!

Unevenly equal

Unequal as in unevenly distributed. So many things in life are unequal nature has made everything uneven but the uneven did not really give rise to the unequal the unevenness was seen as a dissimilarity which led to categorisation and we as intelligent humans attached adjectives unequally.

Well, all in all it is only by the laws of nature that nothing is smooth and everything is perfect while being so different, admittedly quite strange at times. The very reason idiots trod this earth is because we all need a little laugh every now and then. Every problem emerges only to test our strength. Every thing, so to speak, is there for a reason and happens for a reason.

The understanding of it all being the way it is in its perfect place brings about a change in us, thus allowing us to enjoy the way things are instead of putting too many efforts in changing them. It is only human nature to look for perfection the fault lies with no one but a battle against nature is pretty insane of an idea.

Along the lines of uneven and unequal is a small thing called luck. As much as it all depends on the perception of the individual lucky is what favours our case and unfortunate is what does not. That is quite a childish notion is it not? If you get all the good things in life, you are lucky, and if you do not get them well consider yourself cursed with bad luck. Really?

If I started looking at life that way I will be doomed. I believe in having a positive but realistic outlook because positivity is not equivalent to magic nonetheless, it does work like magic. The trees that stand strong and tall amidst a heavy storm are not just lucky, they are still there because they did not lose their grip on their ground how many of us can do that?

The moment something does not seem to work for us or in our benefit we readily give up on simplicity, goodness, mannerism etc. for minutes of name and fame and sometimes for a little more than just a favour. We should not blame it on luck if we won’t stick to being genuine.

Nothing can explain the inequality, the unevenness in the world there are people with very big problems and people who have not seen anything of that magnitude but that does not mean they have never had an ordeal in fact they do, we all do. A visible tribulation is not bad luck it is either a repercussion of our past actions or the quality of our thoughts or an external force, which means it is what it is no need to make it worse by calling it bad luck. A visible victory is some ones hard-work let’s not undermine that by calling it mere luck. Call it magic instead and we know how that works.

Luck is not uneven or unequal!

Years and years and years…

Last night at the stroke of midnight I felt as if nothing changed, but the collective intention of bringing a change in the new year easily rubs off on all of us. So even though nothing has really changed, I still feel like a lot has changed or you could say it is now on the path of improvement. It is, as they say, the 1st page of the next 365 pages, write all of them carefully. In the bigger scheme of things 1 day out of so many that have passed seems like nothing, but then again one chance is all you need and a day with 24 hours is a lot more than what we could bargain for. So carrying forward only what makes you ‘you’ and leaving the rest behind seems like a wise choice.

Years in you with you in years will take it all on to the next level. Get, set, go!
Happy New Year friends. The best is yet to come.

From calm to calmness.

With so much going on around us a moment every now and then to feel the present is all we need, a moment where we can be tranquil for just a while. There are enough talks and books on self-help, but we know experience is the best of all teachers.

As calm as this word is in itself, the feelings attached are of our own understanding. I mean for any non-English speaker this is nothing but an uttered word – all in all a sound -nothing more nothing less. Then why do those who associate a meaning to this word can feel this word? How?

It sounds uncommon, but is it really? Hate, sadness, murder, benevolence, love, happiness are mere words, just a group of letters; plain alphabets! But as much as hate sounds bad and love sounds nice.

You see, the words that we utter do have profound effect on our message; the words we commonly use become a part of our nature. Words that we constantly come across tend to lose their value over time but never do they lose their meaning. Like profanities; when used around friends they are funny, when with strangers they could be dangerous. So in a way we program our brains, our selves, our surroundings with the choice of words..

It is good manners to be polite, but for whom, to whom, with whom? As I find it, most of the things that we do in life are placed externally. We feel as if it is necessary to be good to others that, it is nice to be kind and genuine so that others would be the same to us exactly like the saying; treat others the way you want to be treated.

There is nothing wrong with the statement, only that yet again we have labeled a good habit “good” on the basis of how it makes others feel. Yet again we go on behaving not for our sake but for others’. Do we not already live too much in a small restricted world just to satisfy others and their egos, just to get things done, or simply just to be nice to others?

In my opinion there is one thing wrong in this approach. It leaves a choice in our hands because when we do things for some else’s sake it is more of a choice instead a necessity. We would go on and categorise people as those who “deserve” this favour and those who do not “deserve” goodness.

The way I see it if each one of us would do good and be good for one’s own self, this good nature will shift from being a choice to being a compulsion. After-all no one will do wrong to themselves. If this shift happens we won’t need to be calm with people or calm in situations, but we would transcend to calmness altogether.

From calm to calmness. From the adjective to a mental state. From external to internal. From doing to being!