Tailoring.

The world is our oyster, but that does not mean we go around jumping from one thing to another, all the time. Sometimes what I need is not out there in the world. The world is still my oyster but does that mean that is where I stop, it is like limiting the possibilities of “I”. I mean, what the world offers is what the world has in store for me, but what I am or I can be, must not be over looked, and sadly no one else but I would be the first one to give up on myself. Unfortunately, many would relate to this.

So it becomes more like world is our oyster and we shall try to fit ourselves in what they have to offer, after all what is world? You and me and if I am not where I a want to be then I am just looking at you or them. But if everyone looked at you, we all would be you. What kind of world would that be?

We all want to be someone. When was the world even seen as an oyster, I do not think it’s always about what is out there for us, sometimes it is just about what life drags to us. As I see it, I am being made by what I get, more so by what I choose, and even more by what I do not choose. Why necessarily be them when I can take a little bit of this a little bit of that and tailor it for myself.

What we are offered and our choices based upon that might make us. But accepting and becoming part of the norm lacks the tailoring that becomes a possibility only when you deny, when you reject, and rather choose to blossom on your own or choose to watch yourself blossom – just a flip side of the same coin.

None taken.

Disagreements are pretty common and many people get over them easily. Some require a little more than a talk to get over things. Misunderstandings are a part and parcel of people with reactive attitudes. This does not mean that the entire blame lies on them. The one who misunderstood would get the gibe (most of the times), but an equal responsibility must be shared by the one who said the things that led to all this.

Ha! this is one of those really confusing situations but it totally depends on the kind of people you are dealing with. You know how sometimes things just come out wrong or in a way that you did not really intended them to sound. Nonetheless, the immediate realisation by the speaker hints that, they understand what they have said does not really sound correct (or as these days politically correct).

Well life is not meant to be politically correct all the time and it is alright to be conscious of this when in dialogue with strangers but mostly misunderstandings happen between two very close people. Ha! another of those funny but real-confusing realities of life.

Now, this does not mean that one speaks, the other gets hurt and that is the end of it all. Neither should it mean the one who “supposedly” got hurt unleashes a wrath on the speaker nor is it all meant to be ignored. But none should react,  its just a chain reaction; I say, you misunderstand, you react, I defend, you do not let go, I do not accept it, I react and we fight! So choose none, just be one.

Looking back, as kids nothing really mattered there were no misunderstandings because there were no preconceived notions, no hurts carried over from past experiences, nothing to really correlate one thing with the other and make a mess out of it. It was plain and simple. That is the only thing that changes as we grow up. We start believing we just know it all, and we do but unfortunately without much clarity.

From none to a ton. Tonnes of thoughts get processed and we like to read between the lines a little too often. Where ever the trust has gone? I feel like understanding the fact that not many people really give a second thought to things they say or do while others are exactly opposite, should bring  an acceptance of each others’ harmless comments.

So while the only truth is THE misunderstanding the problem takes a shape of “you never understand me” “well, how am I suppose to know that. I do not read mind” etc etc etc. It goes back and forth, and the egos would not let either just take the blame and move on. In the process neither would bend but won’t mind breaking each other. That is just sad.

So to save ourselves the pain let’s just handle this the way we do it with strangers, “no offence!” “Oh, none taken”.

OTD

Not OCD, OTD! Obsessive Thinking Disorder. Not a compulsive behavior but a deliberate process of thinking more than required. How many people suffer form OTD!? I know I do. What a freaking waste of time and energy! But the very fact that I am writing about it clears one thing that, I am aware of this disorder and awareness is the first step to acceptance and with acceptance we can move on to next step – rectification.

We should be aware of our thoughts, that is very basic understanding. And once you know about OTD, asking your mind to shut up should actually help. Unfortunately, it does not work that way. You can not stop your thoughts. It is easier to be filled with fear of something wrong happening while being very happy but doing the opposite; feeling happy while having sad thoughts is impossible. And that is another belief. Yes, this is where ignorance becomes a bliss, the less we know about the world made beliefs the more of self-belief we have.

Anyway the point is OTD is so common specially among the young ones. We just like to think so much and create vivid images of what might go wrong instead of just going for something. What went wrong, where and when!?

I believe that as kids we just lived care free and that is the trait we need to bring back. Careful is okay worrying all the time is not. And it is okay to think…. Actually no, it is better to just give “A” thought to something. Just a thought – singular.

Weighing the pros and cons is not similar to just looking at the pros or just the cons. Both are important, but are you thinking “over it” or about it”? That should be the question because there is a difference which will change the approach and the pattern of thoughts. Trying to stop a flood when it has happened is futile, but creating the diversion for that powerful flow, now that is possible. Do not stop your thoughts try to change them instead. This sounds like some famous quote.

You could check whether you are thinking over it, about it, or paying too much attention to the “supposed outcomes. And if nothing makes sense why not just take a leap?  Not necessarily a leap of faith, more like following your instincts, gut feelings and nothing else. It is faster and mentally less exhausting. Make your own mistakes; learn, fall, stand back up, nothing embarrassing in that. Come to think of it even that sounds like a trigger for OTD, fear of failure!! In its essence fear is the culprit.

 

Not a joke.

Look at their face, look at their walk, the way they talk, oh those clothes and the funny voice…

That is how you describe a clown or a drunkard, uttering any of that otherwise is not funny. Say what now, it is just a joke? Okay that is no excuse to put any other person down. It is never justified to look down on anyone. It is never okay to unknowingly hurt anyone. One might say things without realising the repercussions, but even then why comment on someone else’s personal matters or personality attributes or physical features. Bullying is not synonym to leg pulling.

Shh, shhh, not a single thought about anyone. Like they say crticize slowly and appreciate quickly. No one is entitled to pass random remarks. Accept others and move on or just move on. People are not bus stops, they are not waiting for random strangers to make halts in their lives.

Seriously, whenever I hear or read about bullying, something that has also become digital and it is called cyber bullying, I am flabbergasted to learn of the arguments presented by the bully. It is not just the hate, the real question is what were they being fed? What agitates them to that point, where only abuse could work for them?

And sad enough not everyone gets help, not every one is strong enough to not give into these bullies. Sad as it is young ones suicide just because they can not bear it anymore. They find the world as a dirty and disgusting place just because of a few fellows who find pleasure in picking on them. Oh gosh, the seriousness of these matters is never felt unless personally experienced.

And if that is not enough the victimisation of the sufferer makes matters worse. Victims are not weak. There are so many stories flashing in front of eyes. Each one talked of the victims closest relations being unaware of the victim’s state of mind before they began discussing the cruelty of the bully. Honestly, it does seem hopeless. But laws do exist, people are still afraid, where is the hope? Just in the belief that one day it will change? When? Years from now?

Tender roots do not/can not differentiate water from poison. They will absorb what will be given to them. Hope is in nurturing those roots .

-Insach

How Profound?

Profound, anything that is even near this word is just going to be extreme. Anything defined by it would be of quite importance. And for sure that will lead on to having a huge impact.

Can same rule apply to the quality of our thoughts? I came across a piece of information that suggests that human brain is simply so strong that a single thought, if turned into a belief, could bring about the chemical changes mimicking the exact changes that take place when something happens for real.

It is exactly like being tricked into thinking that a massive tragedy has taken place, we would be extremely affected by the kind of thoughts we create after hearing about the tragedy (even when we have just heard about it).

Or in case when we watch someone else go through it (even if it is in a movie) like, while watching the movie – About Time – the moment Tim’s wife suggest they have a third child and Tim realises that it would bring an end to his time travel meetings with his deceased father, we feel for him because we create the Kind of thoughts he has.

“Kind of thoughts” this is important because thoughts have a profound effect on us and these thoughts get manifested into emotions and behaviours even before we know it.

Old sayings like “मन के हारे हार है, मन के जीते जीत” (man ke jeete jeet man ke hare har) meaning that if we think we’d lose, we’d definitely lose. On the other hand if we’d think that no matter what we will win, we will win indeed.

Need I say more the brain washing of many a people has created useless ruckus all around us. They do not need any mention. Some of them are in power and some are just sitting inside their bedrooms planning their next conniving actions. If “they” can have enough will power or lets say the control over their brains that, they can follow a single thought and take such extreme steps; completely illegal, completely inhumane, mostly stupid, just because they believe they are right, why should the rest of us stop our powerful positivity?!

As it seems the good does not manifest easily because the ones who know enough, keep on questioning themselves and the ones who do not know it too well…. we all know where that ends! It has come to this, we shall learn from the rebels and the extremists that believing is more important than having to know it all. But lets do it in a very good way!

How profoundly does the quality of your thoughts affect you now?

Admiration.

“Your admiration runs deeper?”

It is only of your making,

The qualities are in your head.

All I see are scars,

A broken arrow through heart.


It is dirty, it is malign.

Keep away or it might kill.

What do you seek from it?

Get it, do not be so still.


For the beholder has spoken,

He seeks nothing…

But a moment of revelation…

Of things beyond the forsaken.


Oh, if you could feel..

The mesmerising depth

The strong will…

That has me enchanted.


The arrow is broken.

That is what it shows.

The heart is alive.

That is all she owns.


Ugly is what is hidden.

Beauty is out in the open.

It has me emboldened

To restore, to mend the fallen.


No one sees what you see.

To like things this way,

To find beauty every where,

There must be good in thee.

“Your admiration runs deeper, indeed!”

 

So geht das

The title is actually a name of the German book series for children learning German as a foreign language. Children – the young version of humans. To be honest I see them as very pure and unaware beings. Okay, hold your horses I do not mean it in a bad way. Ignorance is after all a bliss. Do you not envy that? For them it is like what is not broken need not be fixed and what is not known has no effect. That makes one reckless or should I say unstoppable!

Oh man we do not grown up we just fall in a pit of thoughts. This, that, something else, I mean there are people who live being so cut off from the world – in their own world – they are better off than those who want to be updated about everything and everyone. So much to keep up with! And then there is meaningful, relevant and the irrelevant aspect to these updates. In all the updates what we learn is a lot more than we should know or could have known. It works both ways.

We think nothing effects us. As adults that is where we are wrong. We are curious and curiosity might have killed the cat but a little knowledge won’t hurt me. It takes one thought to bring up an emotion. We cry watching movies, reading books because we feel them and yet somehow we like to think that nothing really effects us. Wrong… It does! And not just the sensitive ones but everyone – brain works the same way in all of us. It wil store and it will remind you. Every bit of it, every thing we hear, think, see or say is not as much of our making au contraire it is the reflection of what we have been feeding the head with.

So, a little ignorance not in our responsibilities but in being updated can save us from negativity, the frequent sadness, and fear. The forces that stop us never of a positive origin they come from a deep sitting experience or in a similar fashion from our surroundings. It does not mean that we dump the news papers it just means read to know not lo learn because un-learning it is not easy.

Like a child who could be emotionally scarred or mentally disturbed even in a little bit of  upheaval, why do we not treat ourselves like that and stay  away from all the shite. “Who would be the adult then?” Really if that is the argument then lets count the number of adults who can not fathom basic things that children seem to not only fathom but also accomplish with being their tiny selves.

Children – they fall, they cry, they dust off, they do not dwell upon it, they just carry on…It is all about being real, being free and that is in itself being unstoppable. For them “so ghet das….” (so it goes…/that is how it goes…).

 

Carefree, really?

Be carefree not careless. Be any of these and people around you would question if something is different about you or whether you are alright or gone cuckoo?

Why is it that if some one is smiling, it is either plain weird/creepy or with a reason? Why is it that seeing someone lost in thoughts is much more natural to us and seemingly normal? By the way what is normal?

We have reached a point where definitions are so important, reasons are so important, labels are so important. Needless to say that we keep on finding and sometimes creating things and the next step is to “name” it. We are happy with the knowledge of whatever we find or make but it needs a name.

Something apt! How do we conclude what is appropriate? How do we reach to that label, that name? It is by definitions, by that thing’s supposed roles or functions. At least that is what is being done.

As I see it when we label, we label the outcome not the “actor”, more like we label the actor according to the action. That might make sense but is it fair? A knife is used to cut because we think that is its sole action. Even though we could use the same knife as a screw driver and what not. At the core, it is just metal and sometimes plastic. It could be used for many other purposes. Creativity is the word I am looking for.  Creativity is boundless and labels are mere boundaries.

Creativity requires us to think out of the box, out of those boundaries. And thinking beyond the “what is”… requires imagination which requires a free mind. And sadly ours is never care-free. It is careful. It is its duty to be aware and just because of this definition we forget that, roles are DEFINED and definitions need not be fixed.

Just like with the knife, with our acquired habit, we label, we define. And what is being defined exactly? The function and the role not the actor. So, by my definitions this norm of being lost in thoughts and in worries is not and should not be the definition of a being.

Definitions do not define anything or may be they define just that one attribute of many others. So lets be more. And being carefree is a good place to start from. Takes away the usual careful and careless.

 

Closet

Closet is just an enclosed place isn’t it?

When I was young we would keep our clothes in a closet. Actually we still do. As I grew older I got to know that closets could be of various shapes and sizes. Some said they had spaces like that of an empty room. But the usage is still the same. Keep something, store something or just play hide and seek and find yourself in the world of Narnia.

Anyhow, the point was to store not to hide. Oh, but if we go by the age old stories of love affairs, the immediate choice in any film to hide the boy in case some one from the girl’s family barges into her room, is under the bed or the bathroom but you know out of courtesy no one would ever open some one else’s closet. They might check the loo or under the bed but never closet.

So people hid stuff or other people in their closet and soon they started hiding their true selves in the closet. What a convenient place isn’t it?

The safety of your house, coupled with the safety of your room with the double safety of your closet. Hmmm, is that the right? Is that why they say someone was in the closet? As in they were hidden (or hiding something) in their own way in their own place. What ever it might be. At the end it is their house, their room, their closet. Lets leave it be! Why push anyone out of their Narnia?

I had no idea where to take this prompt. Somehow here I am preaching like always 😛

 

Tricky

Did YouTube change the look of its web-page?

Okay, see now this is tricky. You get used to things and people being in a certain way and suddenly things including people just change. Some changes are steady and slow while the others are just so drastic and abrupt, it is not only hard to keep up with but can get trickier. Oh well, change is the only way we evolve so no one can really avoid it.

When I was young I found it funny when people said things like I do not want to change my home or work place because they found it good there, knew their way all around the place etc. I never could relate to something like that. I found it not only easy but more of like a norm to move to a new place. The other way round was unusual for me. And as you grow up this could mess up with your head.

We never planned to stay for this long in our current place. For a while I could not wait to move out of this city as well but then things got too stable and so did I. I started connecting to people and now I have people I call my best friends and places that I refer to as my favourites and lanes that literally take me down the memory lane.

Wait is that not attachment? Wow when did this happen? It is quite a new feeling but a good one. It will be hard to move on this time. As expected it is always either a trick or a treat when it comes to life. For the treats of love get a trick of biding a farewell free free free!