BETTER.

(B)elieve that you can and you will.
I have heard that and so have you.
(E)ven if times are tough and ill.
Strive to win the battle that ensued.
(T)ake pride in yourself,
It is yours and your journey matters.
(T)hrive on light and welcome darkness
like an old friend, here to teach you better.
(E)very twist and turn takes its toll.
Find the strength and find love.
(R)emember you are never alone.
Take those hands and you are home.

I panicked.

A wide open grass land
Meets near horizon I see.
A blue clear sky and a breeze.
The warmth surrounds me.
The birds chirping, bees buzzing,
Flowers dancing,
It is one of those scenes.
Almost unreal.
So close I can touch it.
The fragrance I smell,
The sounds I can hear,
All of it is so near.
My spirits are lifted high.
Like being brought back to life.
Feels almost like reality.
But my heart starts to ache.
Now, the light is fading away.
Why the darkness? I ask.
How did it find its way?
I hid it deep inside.
Your memories that I hate.
From the warmth to
These burns I’m feeling.
The panic begins to creep in.
Why now? And how?
Perhaps… it is my fault.
I panicked. This wound.
It must be healed.
This love affair with pain.
Like us, must come to an end.

Ctrl Alt Del.

Control it! Control that.
Control him. Control her.
Control them. Control this.
Control all that till you can.

One day we realise,
Where the true power lies.
Like many have said before,
Control yourself and be more.

Control your mind. Your emotions.
Your feelings and effects.
Control the situation. The outcome thereafter.
Control the controller. To be the best.

But to truly be able to Ctrl Alt Del.
All we need is one habit.
One only and that is…
To able to to not repeat.

Do not repeat patterns.
No need to relive the history.
Be a new tale. Do not go down as…
The same story.

Take a new leaf, fresh ink… write it.
One that was about being.
One that knew no control.
A story that is daring.

For I control what I want.
What I see as beneath me, must not be.
What I do not want around.
Must be down on the ground.

But when I let go. Not of my situations.
Not of my feelings or my notions.
But myself, is when I am in control.
For there is nothing really out of control.

 

Gray or Grey?

Shiny and clear, mostly blue.
A curtain of yellow.
And an orange-y hue.
Gets be brown and mellow.
With a little dust.
Have you seen?
It turn to red.
A shade of pink.
The painters in the air.
Covering it in a silver sheen.
A storm of black.
Clear white or simply gray.
When it sprays.
The sky is happy every way.
One colour less. One colour more.
Might just not be same anymore.

IMG-20170326-WA0010.jpg

I see more than just gray! 🙂

Every time like literally every time gray or grey, is the question. I used to think the “grey” matter in the brain is spelled “grey” and that gray is the colour gray. Just like color or colour? Gosh having learnt things one way, while the entire world wide web has a lack of ‘u’ and even replacing ‘e’ by ‘a’, is confusing just as writing this.

LOL or may be lol.

A friend can tickle,
Spots unknown to others.
Friends can act crazy,
Just for your laughter.
A small giggle a little smile.
We all shared them all the while,
In classes, in games,
In all the serious places it seems.
A joke, a wink, a smirk
Be it from miles away.
Still it works.
And A LOL
or a laugh out little.
But you know…
You want to burst.
So chuckle away!

Climbing

I am not sure.
Straight up or side ways?
In the middle,
I fear I might get stuck,
When I am climbing.

I do not want those situations.
Where I have to pay,
For my choices.
I fear I’d stumble,
As I climb and fumble.

I am unclear of the way.
But I am sure of the next step.
With courage, In time,
I will be on the top.
After all I am climbing.

Where and when,
That is beyond me.
Where is there?
That scares me.
For now, I will just climb.

Measure.

Read your movements.
Watched you talk.
Checked your tone.
Measured the lows, the highs.
The shades all around.
But the glimmer in your eyes.
Tells me if everything’s alright.

 

Pleased yet?

Every thought to please you.
Every gesture to please you.
Every word to please you.
I tried to please you.
Were you pleased?

Stars from the sky?
Pearls from the ocean?
Flowers of the fresh bloom?
It is only my confusion…
How to make this love blossom.

I dressed to please you,
Kept quiet to please you.
Held you to please you.
I tried it all for you.
You were not pleased.

If the heart and soul
Is not enough.
What will matter to you?
I give myself.
That is all I have.

All sounds to please you.
A song to please you.
I will dance to please you,
In your rhythm with you.
Will you be pleased?

 

Sometimes…

I ran, I fell, I stood up.
But the wounds remained.
I looked outside, I looked inside.
But only my energy drained.
I breathed, I exhaled.
I was breathless at the end.
I tried it this way, I tried that.
Which works, don’t know yet.
I saw, I did, I followed.
But was that what I wanted?

My needs and my wants,
For me and for all,
For good or for worse,
Doubt just emerges,
Each time that I fall.

More often than not.
You have to question.
If it was, It is and it will be.
But what if it is not?
And sometimes you wonder.
If love is strong, it is.
But what if it has no power at all.
Sometimes you can’t believe.
It is difficult To have courage
And be kind with disbelief.