Outside-Inside.

Things happen for a reason.
We have been hearing that forever.
What is this? What does it even mean?
Some times I can’t see any meaning to it.
Life just seems out of control.
For I can either indulge or sit here and question it all,
I choose to watch carefully as I participate.
Is this what they call awareness?
Now, I feel like I can control a few things.
Like, add a little sweet to any bitterness.

May be not all of it,
But one thing that has become a choice.
If how I feel is just a chemical reaction…
I’ll take charge and mould it to my liking.
Choice is not just at the first step,
The sail can be set in any direction.
I never knew of this power,
That mentality controls our actions.
That we are only perceiving and projecting,
All that we have been gathering.

Now, it does make sense,
Reasons to all situations do exist.
We are merely manifesting our beliefs,
Sometimes holding on to what was,
Other times fearing what it will be,
Losing on all that is actual reality.
It is like a game of charade.
I am the player and I am getting played.
And the moment when I see a little clearly,
The outside is every one’s, but the inside it’s only me.

The Art of Letting Go.

When it comes to striving on and giving up we are often conflicted because our thoughts are only divided into two; how much longer can I keep going vs do I have to keep going?

These are such meaningful thoughts but the problem is these are questions that block us in many ways from seeing any further than this. We get so caught up with these two thoughts often forgetting that there is always a solution, perhaps in an unexpected form but always.

Giving up connotes a negative feeling of losing and when you feel like you can not fight anymore and you just wanna give up, it is better to give up. Giving up is nice actually it is literal withdrawing from the situation… But for how long?

There is a middle ground in letting go; you do not have to give up, yo do not have to go on the same old way. Just let go. Let go but not of the problem, not of the situation, only the expectations.

See, the problem is that there is no real problem but expectations. How do you win or lose without having expectations. Goals are necessary but sticking to the process is a certain state of mind. Actually, it is one of the best states to be in.

It is in this state where you let go of all the outcomes yet you are fully involved because you did not give up. It is in every way a middle ground when you are struggling and are confused whether you should tread on or not, just hold the direction and not the destination. This is the art of letting go.

The way it is…

Think too much about it and, it hurts.
Talk too much about it and, it confuses.
Hear as much as you want, it falls short of real experience.

These senses are not really senses but filters.
You pick up what you choose.
You perceive never the complete truth.

So, just be a witness and then see…
Wonders are nearer than the seem.
Miracles need not be searched.
They will walk up to you instead.

Watch with full indulgence, with full involvement.
Let it take you where it wants to.
Life is not a calculated risk that we took,
It is not even ours say many a books.

Time is all we have, and witness is all we can be.
The mental charade, the learning and, teaching come of no use.
When it comes to life, living is our best bet!
That is the way it is…  Or the way I see it.

Go with the flow?

Any number of time we here this quote,”go with the flow”, we tend to nod in agreement. And as usual this got me thinking and I got inspired enough to write about it. It seems like we are wired for positivity or wired to expect positive outcomes in life. It is not about how we feel at present, but mostly about how we wanna feel in the next moment. So a lot of our energy is either stuck in the past or it gets used up in imagining the future which takes our attention away from the flow of life.

My interpretation is that, our minds are naturally inclined to get stuck on things which represent everything but the present moment. So we end up getting stuck – inside our heads – hence we need the flow to guide us out of the mental-madness we so ignorantly create.

Go with the flow, is not a negative statement. It does not compel us to take life as it is. That is quite a useless way of looking at it. I mean, if it was in anyway negative or connoting leniency then, the quote would not have a word like go in it. I have had some people interpret this quote as suggesting to take a back seat. Firstly, how do you take a back seat when you are the only one on the wheels. Secondly, where do you ‘go’ if you are just an audience to your own life.

So the idea is not to just sit and watch life pass by. The idea is to take the current and go where ever ‘it’ is. The destination is the only thing undecided, but what is an adventure if the destination is already known, that is called traveling not venturing. Let’s go with the flow – I think being open minded, having least of expectations, and being involved with reality – is the real essence of the flow. Let the currents take you away but no one said you can not sail your way.

Courage is all it needs, faith can come in handy but to be honest faith in itself comes with a sense of expectation. Which makes me reiterate that, our minds are wired to expect and plan for the next moment, and faith takes the sense of responsibility away from us. It only when we are responsible that we can start talking about courage. And if there is courage, which is a consequence of a strong foundation, it is easy to stand strong. We can sail through storms simply by finding our flow.

Consumer or consumed?

I was having one of those days where I got stuck with a random thought and could not really get out of my head until I started paying attention to all that I was missing on; life around me.

We do, really, get stuck in a mental-scape and forget that life happens outside the boundaries of our so called inner-world. An appropriate word would be inner-chatter. We get consumed in our thoughts and not all of them are good, and many are just useless or irrelevant.

But that day I had an epiphany, consumption is a human problem. We either consume a lot or get consumed, there is no moderation. Look at the planet, look at human history, look at us as a species today – needs and wants can be categorised as consumption. As humans we do not just want more, we want to keep stocks as well.

For instance every other animal lives in its surrounding without modifying it much. And when hunger strikes, they hunt otherwise they just sleep or play. But as humans, modification of the natural has gone too far, it has reached a point where coal is seen as lesser than a diamond while we know that, one is an actual source of energy and the other just a stone. This is where we are not really doing any justice to the title of most intelligent species on earth.

Having been so indulged in every aspect of life, we are over consuming everything; food, drinks, substances, drugs, technology, information, thoughts, emotions, feelings. Consuming or getting consumed that is where we are.

It is true that all of the aforementioned is readily available now which makes it a little difficult to avoid it completely. But the habit of consumption is not new. And there is an advantage if we just get a little more aware of our consumption. Moving from an automatic mode to a discretionary mode. Choose. I use this word a lot, I do not know how much I am able to use it properly, but I am trying. Life is made of choices and butterfly effect or not, but it goes a long way when we make small changes – ripple effect.

So if you question, what can I possibly do to change anything in the world? Let’s just remember that individuals make up he world and if you can not do anything overt or big then just take a small step and decrease some sort of consumption. It would do wonders for you and definitely for the planet.

Proper food intake; good health. Less drinks, substances, drugs, need I explain? Less technology? Yes, use it and do not let it take over (AI takeover :p ). Less information; yes please, or consume and process it well. Balanced thoughts, emotions, feelings – let them consume you but choose until when. None of it is to be avoided because consumption is natural, but it needs more of our attention. Let’s be conscious of it.

The anxiety.

It is commonly seen that as long as things go our way, we are pretty balanced and easy going, but the instant something turns upside down, not many are capable of handling it. This is not really a problem, but is definitely a hurdle and a hassle if you compare your efficiency with others. Not all are equally capable and that is fine.

As kids we never knew anxiety. Kids are so care-free and some even care-less but that works for them. It is not that they are not aware of their feelings. On the contrary they are more in tuned with how and what they feel that they do not even take seconds to express it.

It is expression of our feelings that slows down or gradually and sometimes drastically decreases as we step into adolescence. If you look back at your younger-self (ten years ago), the first thing you would notice is how clue-less, anxious your younger self seems to you now. But understand this, you would say that ten years from now about your current version. This is what they meant by history repeats itself.

We do kind of stay the same but we keep psyching ourselves up and eventually fall prey to a false idea that we changed. Change is so external these days like changing places, food habits, religion, people we associate with etc. etc. We even change our way of thinking and it works to some extent but the result is not stable. We can’t think ourselves into a changed person, we can only be a new person.

Sure, conditioning is where it all  begins and change of thought patterns brings a huge change, but it is only experience that can really change someone, for it is your past experiences that have moulded you and now you can use this same tool to mould a newer-self by opening up to all kinds of experiences.

But is that what we do? NO. We tend to cave in after a few down-falls. And for the rest of our lives we get stuck with fear, and the anxiety of repeating that experience. Anxiety is real, fear is real, feelings are valid. But do we have to give thoughts so much power that it can mess up our mind, mood, physiology etc.? No, thoughts or any other forms of triggers are just triggers. Triggers are real, your reactions are real, but this association of triggers and reaction can be broken with new experiences.

“What if the new experiences are worse than before?”
If you are someone who asked this, then you need to stop it. As you can see this is the root of all anxiety. And if you are gonna have negative thoughts then just label them as negative and let go. Do not let these thoughts consume you.

And not to undermine anyone’s problems but what is inside the head is not the reality, the past, the projection of the past into the future, is not real. It is like self-inflicted pain. The anxiety vanishes when we focus and centre ourselves in this truth. Only this moment is real and only this moment can be changed. Repeat this to yourself, Only this moment is real and only this moment can be changed. And if nothing needs to changed then just let it be. That is how I keep the anxiety at bay.

That one reservation.

Oh gosh! the amount of things that we keep reserved for ourselves and the things that keep us reserved could simply be put out in display to the world and anyone could do a psychological analysis of our true reality kind of like in the movies. It is by small things that the character reserves and the reservations the character holds that simply defines the entire character arc and even the progression of the story-line.

With that being said and after sounding like a pseudo-psychologist I am going try to sound very realistic yet stick to the theme of movies and story-lines. So, with things reserved and reservations holding us back there is that one reservation that every movie has, actually come to think of it, everything has that one place reserved for itself at the end.

The end is where it all… begins again. Result oriented as we are today the only thing we would like to reserve is a “perfect” ending and the only thing that holds us back is the fear of not getting the “perfect” ending. Fear of failure? Nope! Failure is the first step on the ladder to success or they say. Then why fear it? It is the ending we all want, not the first step or even the second but the last one; the climax.

And as cliche as it sounds there is no ending without a story. Build a story or even better let a story unfold itself so that an ending builds upon it.

In my opinion we are directing the ending so much that we do not eat to eat, we eat to lose or to gain weight. We do not talk to talk, we talk to get something done or undone. We do not breathe to breathe, well…. no…. wait, we do not breathe at all it just happens. Had breathing been a task I am sure by now some of us would have taken the time to get it over with to get to where they want to be. But where is that exactly? No one has time and that is okay, people are busy in turn productive or destructive. Either way, we are just busy human-beings.

I am not against the awareness that one must have for repercussions of their actions. I am against the reservation that results could bring specially to those who deserve or need the freedom. While on the other hand there are some who do not think of repercussions at all they are excluded from this just because good or bad (destructive) they can not be stopped (by just words, that is).

So, at a personal level why have that one reservation hold you back when you clearly have the ability to think things through (to a point in future that is not yet a reality). After all, failure is the first step on the ladder of success. The ending is reserved anyway.

P.S. This might have sprung out of a positive self-talk haha.

Awareness

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Be aware or not the sun shines above us at all times. 

2017-42/365:
Randomly took this picture while I was waiting for my friends. I was just aware of the sun shining through, after all it is too conspicuous even if you are trying to hide, it will find you out. We had fun today, they same old meeting, walking and eating with some serious talks later on about true friendship. Either we have grown older and perhaps wiser or we were just aware of the fact that, what ever was being said was one’s own opinion or grievance thereof and we must accept people and the differences as they are.

Now going on with the same theme… I believe awareness comes in two forms, as is with many things in life, external and internal. It is easy and one must know their surroundings, not necessarily everything about it but every detail about the little bit of what they know, but what we do instead is fill ourselves with the next information that comes our way so while we are looking at the forest we forget to see it for the trees.

It is easy to be aware of what crosses your filter with physical information because we are good at categorising it. The problem comes when we try to be aware internally. It is good and easy to make healthy life choices, but how many of us make healthy emotional choices too? Not many in my opinion. I have realised that only a person who is aware internally can make those choices.

This is because any one who is aware of himself does not act out of feelings rather he would take a back seat and watch his thoughts like an audience to his own turbulent emotions thus seeing more than one option for his course of action. There is a difference between flowing in your emotions and watching your emotions.

This by no way means that one is not allowed to feel their deepest of emotions. One must let them flow but by being aware you row your boat in the currents of your feelings instead of your feelings deciding your course. Honestly, that sounds like true power to me.

The only way to achieve this awareness is to do the exact opposite of what we do when we  are making choices (externally) and that is to not make a choice at all. Just take a back seat. I have seen that not holding onto feelings is better in the long run, you are truly burden-less and what else would you need?

Being internally aware requires a pause not a filter, it requires prirotising not categorising, it requires attentive processing not ignoring the emotions (being aware) thus allowing a response and not a reaction.