The idea of idea.

The very basis of our life is a secret to us, we know not a thing when it comes to our own body and mind. The complexity with which it functions and all the parts that come together to make it all happen are beyond our wildest imagination – the precision is astounding. Something for everything and everything for something, in essence of things, nothing about life is in excess or limited. It just is.

This make me wonder how and why do we even have thoughts. It is not something very physical – the activity of the brain might increase when one is thinking but what really is the source of a thought. If it were physical we would have identified it by now. But nope! I do not think there is any such explanation or exploration for the source of thoughts.

The cognitive faculties function only through information, that is to say that – something must be imbibed in us to to be expressed. Even an idea, or the idea of idea is possible because of the assimilated information. And that makes every expression and my blog post – yet another combination or mixture of existing thoughts. Thoughts that are basically not new, probably out of the ordinary but not extraordinary.

Dreams, another realm of thought process, just a little too visual than thinking in words. But even that has its basis in past and the present and if you constantly dream about the future – congrats you are a psychic!! – provided you are gifted and your dreams actually come true. Otherwise, it is just a projection of current events and your imagination is fooling you into thinking that you can see the future.

See, this is where logic is safe because 0 and 1, true and false – unlike the unreliable dream that you cannot even statistically establish whether it is predictive of the future or not. It is such a hit and miss with dreams. And so is life, what works for one does not for another and we still have no clue of what is real and what is not.

So, my question is are your thoughts even yours. And if your thoughts are not yours then how can the feelings be yours? We are one big pile of reactions to the external stimuli. They are real – yes! But they are not conscious but actually triggered – it is not about right or wrong, just awareness and I think that is something to ponder upon!

I am the cause of the new chain of thoughts that you have right now. Drop it or carry it on – that is all the choice! haha.

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Brain or mind, what is the deal?

You know every now and then I find myself stuck on one thought or the other until I realise that I am either in the past or thinking about the future. Although, I am aware that these are not realities because the present moment is all we have, but the memories are so strong that they do affect my present and this mind does have the capability to easily extrapolate things into future.

If we pay attention, most of our time is gone in thinking and there is negligible action. I mean, talking about myself, right now I have an entire speech prepared as a comeback for an argument that happened 3 years ago. Talk about letting go. I might have not let the incident effect me all this while, good for me, but I did waste my brain’s capacity over something that, in hindsight, looks very stupid.

I have a better control now so I do come out of my head easily, but this is still not a natural process. You get me? Like I have to put efforts to get myself out of this mental-regurgitation. It is just ‘on’ all the time.

And this got me thinking what in the world is our deal? Where and when did we become so self-analytical and not just that but where did we imbibe these qualities. Or is it just that we do not know how to handle our magnificent gifts. Scientifically speaking, evolution gave us the capabilities, but looking at the way we are using them makes me wonder whether we are doing it right or not?

We have probably gone wrong because the suffering is evidently self-inflicted. I could sit here and mentally destroy someone and at the same time destroy myself. It is a fine line, a very fine line, going from positivity to negativity to depressed or from confident to over confident to egoistic

Just imagine if we were not distracted by the out-side world, or if we were to sit ideally doing nothing, I am sure the first thing would be boredom followed by loneliness and eventually sadness. And can we even protect ourselves from this ensuing pain? I do not think so.

The shift to consciousness is all the talk these days. We need to be more aware and in awareness we can control our abilities better. I did come up with a solution for myself. Start thinking of every human capability as a super-power. Believe me, just look around we actually are the most intellectual (not-so-intelligent) species and our mind renders us with some sort of a power in comparison to other beings.

And we know that  with power comes responsibility. SO let’s just stop right this instant and be aware of the responsibility that these powers bring. Can we do justice to our brains and conduct ours mind carefully? I think yes, so let’s give it a try. It is a mind, give it a break, make it a habit, use it only when needed. It is a power let’s utilise it well.

Dare to share?

I have this constant feeling like there is no single person who knows me completely. I mean, the world doesn’t need too know it all,  but I feel like I am one of those people who observes a lot and expresses the least and in some way it does become suffocating. Well, it makes sense why I write, quite an effective method to release my thoughts.

I try to be aware every moment, not like I am a follower of mindfulness or anything au-contraire I have this habit of over-thinking. It only helps that I am aware of it. Sometimes it feels like I push myself too much and instead of stopping myself from reacting to a situation mindlessly, I end up not responding at all which is usually followed by a  lot of suffering. Silence can be easily taken advantage of and you get taken for granted frequently. Sometimes, it is stressful be nice!

So is forced peace and quiet a trap of its own? Yes, it is. If it was not, people would speak their minds and be free instead of going to the extent of resting in peace forever. What I have learnt is, If you are not happy do not force it, life is an actual roller-coaster just roll with it.

Coming back to the point, It is definitely magical to be in a place where you get to choose how you want to feel. Sticks and stones may break my bones, words do not.  Umm, excuse-me, but if you are in anyway sensitive as I am then, being in control to have an appropriate response every-time becomes an additional task apart from having to manage your emotions. What an emotional mess!

In some ways world is what it is, and we can walk like the nicest people around, but is too much to ask others, specially those who walk like they own the ground that they walk upon, to be slightly considerate. I do not believe that it is a dog eat dog world but honestly there are people who lack any form of sensibility. Oh, if people cared a little more about others than themselves – what a world would it be?

But yes, there is no point in whining about it and at the same time does it leave anyone who we call as our own. Family and friends we have aplenty but can we expect an unconditional-support from them, somewhere down the line there will be a a conflict and only those who are understanding of the fact that people are different would stick around. This is what makes it so hard to talk about anything and I mean “anything” with fellow people that we call as our own.

Think of the last time you did not have to think before you spoke, I feel like we are not only getting politically correct in the social sphere but also in our bedrooms. If you convey your raw thoughts, people might call you crass but if you shove BS with a bow tied on the top, they will happily take it. Weird, right!?

Anyway, what really worries me sometimes is how insensitivity or dead-serious has become equivalent to being-in-power. I wish people talked more, listened more, danced and sung a little more than becoming like robots.

We actually have a responsibility of picking others up, helping them out, of caring. Be it in friendship, love, or authority we should all collectively put an effort to become someone who others can confined in so at least they can dare to share. And if you have some one like that in your life, hold on to them.

The twos.

Look…
In or out, make a choice already.
Yes or no, decide and be free.
This or that, let’s take a chance.
Up or down are the only two ways to be.

Living as an individual surrounded by duality,
I keep waiting for the other half to fill my reality.
When the twos are together I realise,
Life comes down to a moment so eternal,
Nothing seems awry.

Now tell me…
The known or the unknown, where do you dwell?
Light or dark, what do you use?
Thought or action, you can’t even refuse.
Here or there are the only two places you’ll be.

So, I see their games and I see them… more than they can even tell.
I keep quiet for things that are true.
Like a fool might seem ignorant,
And the one fooling too indulged,
But only one of them can walk-away at the end.

Is it just me?

I think I am officially at that stage in my life where I end up asking over and over again, is it just me or is everyone finding themselves losing their interest in activities that they deemed as fun. It is like I am actually growing old, not just growing up. Oh, gosh can we just rewind, I do not think I am ready for this!

It is somewhat funny to be honest, to be in such a place where you are just not sure of yourself. I am stuck in this age where I am not yet old to be taken seriously by the “old”  and not that young to be called “hip”. Twenties make you they say but honestly it seems like a phase of hit-and-trial.

Jobs? Well, you gotta find one. Love? Well, you just gotta find someone. Friends? Who that? Everyone is busy finding the right job and the love of their life. Hobbies? Where is the time. Coffee? Yes, everyone is high on it literally just trying to stay awake. But that is my concern, why are we so tired? It has been a long time, I can not remember the last time I partied too hard or studied till the wee hours of the morning so this restlessness, this exhaustion is confusing. I think, it is just an outcome of being in a constant state of dis-organisation or is it just me?

This lack of direction is making me expend more energy than I did during my college years. It is the only logical explanation that I can find for this feeling of being in a loop; eat, sleep, wake-up, repeat… Or is this the real adult-life? Again, I did not sign up for this.

Also, there is a new feeling of missing out on experiences, like a fear that I am missing out on life while I am busy figuring out things and if I indulge in “fun” I might miss out this adult-ing process which until now, to my horror, seems like it will make sure that I become old and not necessarily wise. Are we turning into mindless robots…?

This for another time, but many studies suggest that not only education but our systems in general tend to destroy creativity and ‘many’ people tend to lose it with age and that is very scary.

I see people living with purpose, doing great, and one day when life hits them, they become philosophical and then they realise that, we accomplish things in life to sustain it and not live to just accomplish one thing after the other as it is an endless rut. So they become irritable or at worse stingy or recluse.

Sounds like a lot of work – lose yourself to make yourself only to lose yourself in that process and find yourself again. But as a journey that it is, we shall enjoy it. This is the only way I can bring myself to come to terms with adult-ing. Or is it just me… overthinking it (as usual)?

Outside-Inside.

Things happen for a reason.
We have been hearing that forever.
What is this? What does it even mean?
Some times I can’t see any meaning to it.
Life just seems out of control.
For I can either indulge or sit here and question it all,
I choose to watch carefully as I participate.
Is this what they call awareness?
Now, I feel like I can control a few things.
Like, add a little sweet to any bitterness.

May be not all of it,
But one thing that has become a choice.
If how I feel is just a chemical reaction…
I’ll take charge and mould it to my liking.
Choice is not just at the first step,
The sail can be set in any direction.
I never knew of this power,
That mentality controls our actions.
That we are only perceiving and projecting,
All that we have been gathering.

Now, it does make sense,
Reasons to all situations do exist.
We are merely manifesting our beliefs,
Sometimes holding on to what was,
Other times fearing what it will be,
Losing on all that is actual reality.
It is like a game of charade.
I am the player and I am getting played.
And the moment when I see a little clearly,
The outside is every one’s, but the inside it’s only me.

The power of two.

There are so many combinations in the world that are just meant-to-be. The things that just cannot do on their own. Like the very basic things that we take for granted but are the very basis of life, only if there is air can there be fire, only if there is fire or heat can there be water, and only if there is water can there be life.

There are patterns all around us but we are too busy to notice. Busy with our own mental games and not even the happy kind but tragic scenarios that we love to create in our heads also known as worrying. I mean we are such obsessive beings. I am too, but I have learnt of be aware of my slips from reality and once you create this habit of staying in the here and now, you honestly won’t find time to over-think about the there and then.

The more we are in the moment, the better we see things and by that I mean the fascinating world of patterns – from human behaviour to the physical laws of the universe, there are set patterns. One such combination of ingredients that can make or break anything in life is time and action. This is nothing new they have been saying it for ages; strike the iron when its hot. The statement seems out-dated because none of us today would know where is the iron and what to strike it with. So I just changed it completely to my own understanding. I would say time is my ally and silence is my weapon.

If time and action are one of the greatest combinations then it is only meaningful to see the alternate as time and inaction because for anyone who knows the value of timing also knows the value of silence or inaction. It might seem like negligence or ignorance but choosing to be silent can be of use depending upon the circumstances. To put it in clearer context imagine time as your ally now all you have to do is wait. And when you wait it turns your silence into a weapon.

For some reason I am using the word weapon to signify the power of silence because I think we have officially reached a point in human evolution where weapon is seen as the most useful thing to have. After all as animals, survival is the most basic of our needs and weapons are a prerequisite for survival. But to those who know it by experience it goes without saying, silence can be overwhelming. And it is powerful when directed the right way. Silence and time – one as a weapon the other as an ally, now that is the power of two.

Simplicity is boring?

The other day I realised that, the more I focus on something, the more I find myself stuck to the imperfection of it. For instance, when you catch a glance of yourself and you notice that you look amazing but that one lock of hair is out of place… Boom! There you go. Now your entire attention and therefore energy is directed to that one thing which is messed up. Out of all the things that are right, we choose to focus on what is not right. Humans!

This comes from a deeper belief that simplicity is too simple thus plain boring! Is it not true that the more we add to ourselves, the more we have to fix it often. We went from being naked cave-people to modern day clean, on-fleek, on-point, overly dressed or under-dressed for every occasion, it only shows that we like to complicate things.

It is okay, we are evolving and so are our choices in life and life-style. But at the same time it is more confusing than before. And the way trends are forming, looking good is so important now. Strike that looking good is is not necessary, being selfie-ready is. Which is another proof that we focus more on the imperfection of things because one selfie is never enough – I always retake pictures for a perfect shot!

As far as looks are concerned this behaviour is not harmful, but it is seeping into other aspects of our lives. We want the perfect surroundings, perfect relationships, perfect people, neighbours, perfect world, basically we want order in an un-organised, naturally dis-ordered universe.

None of it is actually in perfect order, it is just in harmony with its imperfections and I think we can learn that from the universe. It is said to be ever expanding and if that is true, it can not be perfect at any given point in time. It is evolving but in a very simple manner and it is not boring but rather unfathomable.

This goes out to people of all ages, there is never going to be a point in life where you are totally satisfied because even the universe is continuously changing. You and I are minuscule in comparison to that. So, Let’s breathe easy.

Perfectionism as a habit can/will lead to OCD, actually it is a sort of obsessive compulsion to want everything in your life to be one way. Is perfectionism wrong? No, it is not. But the idea of imperfection is non-existential or merely human-made in my observation. Similarly, simplicity is not boring it is as perfect as being on-fleek.

Come to think of it how can we even define perfect? A rose plant with thorns is perfect or the one without it? And if the rose bush with all its thorns is perfect then why do we not call it a thorny-rose plant. It only goes to prove one thing that, perfection is a distorted idea because what makes something imperfect is actually a part of its perfection like the rose with its thorns. Perhaps, in a parallel universe it’s called a thorn-plant and the flowers stink but they look good together so they just let it be because they find it simpler that way.

The Art of Letting Go.

When it comes to striving on and giving up we are often conflicted because our thoughts are only divided into two; how much longer can I keep going vs do I have to keep going?

These are such meaningful thoughts but the problem is these are questions that block us in many ways from seeing any further than this. We get so caught up with these two thoughts often forgetting that there is always a solution, perhaps in an unexpected form but always.

Giving up connotes a negative feeling of losing and when you feel like you can not fight anymore and you just wanna give up, it is better to give up. Giving up is nice actually it is literal withdrawing from the situation… But for how long?

There is a middle ground in letting go; you do not have to give up, yo do not have to go on the same old way. Just let go. Let go but not of the problem, not of the situation, only the expectations.

See, the problem is that there is no real problem but expectations. How do you win or lose without having expectations. Goals are necessary but sticking to the process is a certain state of mind. Actually, it is one of the best states to be in.

It is in this state where you let go of all the outcomes yet you are fully involved because you did not give up. It is in every way a middle ground when you are struggling and are confused whether you should tread on or not, just hold the direction and not the destination. This is the art of letting go.

The way it is…

Think too much about it and, it hurts.
Talk too much about it and, it confuses.
Hear as much as you want, it falls short of real experience.

These senses are not really senses but filters.
You pick up what you choose.
You perceive never the complete truth.

So, just be a witness and then see…
Wonders are nearer than the seem.
Miracles need not be searched.
They will walk up to you instead.

Watch with full indulgence, with full involvement.
Let it take you where it wants to.
Life is not a calculated risk that we took,
It is not even ours say many a books.

Time is all we have, and witness is all we can be.
The mental charade, the learning and, teaching come of no use.
When it comes to life, living is our best bet!
That is the way it is…  Or the way I see it.