Is it just me?

I think I am officially at that stage in my life where I end up asking over and over again, is it just me or is everyone finding themselves losing their interest in activities that they deemed as fun. It is like I am actually growing old, not just growing up. Oh, gosh can we just rewind, I do not think I am ready for this!

It is somewhat funny to be honest, to be in such a place where you are just not sure of yourself. I am stuck in this age where I am not yet old to be taken seriously by the “old”  and not that young to be called “hip”. Twenties make you they say but honestly it seems like a phase of hit-and-trial.

Jobs? Well, you gotta find one. Love? Well, you just gotta find someone. Friends? Who that? Everyone is busy finding the right job and the love of their life. Hobbies? Where is the time. Coffee? Yes, everyone is high on it literally just trying to stay awake. But that is my concern, why are we so tired? It has been a long time, I can not remember the last time I partied too hard or studied till the wee hours of the morning so this restlessness, this exhaustion is confusing. I think, it is just an outcome of being in a constant state of dis-organisation or is it just me?

This lack of direction is making me expend more energy than I did during my college years. It is the only logical explanation that I can find for this feeling of being in a loop; eat, sleep, wake-up, repeat… Or is this the real adult-life? Again, I did not sign up for this.

Also, there is a new feeling of missing out on experiences, like a fear that I am missing out on life while I am busy figuring out things and if I indulge in “fun” I might miss out this adult-ing process which until now, to my horror, seems like it will make sure that I become old and not necessarily wise. Are we turning into mindless robots…?

This for another time, but many studies suggest that not only education but our systems in general tend to destroy creativity and ‘many’ people tend to lose it with age and that is very scary.

I see people living with purpose, doing great, and one day when life hits them, they become philosophical and then they realise that, we accomplish things in life to sustain it and not live to just accomplish one thing after the other as it is an endless rut. So they become irritable or at worse stingy or recluse.

Sounds like a lot of work – lose yourself to make yourself only to lose yourself in that process and find yourself again. But as a journey that it is, we shall enjoy it. This is the only way I can bring myself to come to terms with adult-ing. Or is it just me… overthinking it (as usual)?

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