Pleased yet?

Every thought to please you.
Every gesture to please you.
Every word to please you.
I tried to please you.
Were you pleased?

Stars from the sky?
Pearls from the ocean?
Flowers of the fresh bloom?
It is only my confusion…
How to make this love blossom.

I dressed to please you,
Kept quiet to please you.
Held you to please you.
I tried it all for you.
You were not pleased.

If the heart and soul
Is not enough.
What will matter to you?
I give myself.
That is all I have.

All sounds to please you.
A song to please you.
I will dance to please you,
In your rhythm with you.
Will you be pleased?

 

Blinded

Wow it sure has been a long time since my last post. The entire editor for the new posts has changed, it is dizzying. I am blinded by the white background actually I preferred the blue-white combination; the earlier version.

On a personal note, I finished my exams for the first semester and decided to take a long vacation after that, but lately I have been busy enjoying spring. It has been ages since the last time I walked amidst the spring bloom. So I actually planned an entire trip which naturally involved going out of this concrete jungle into an actual one.

Now I have some serene, satisfying, colourful views, all captured in my phone. I am not officially into photography so my phone is good enough, I guess. This one particular shot was captured blindly, it is not easy to stare at the sun for long you know.

IMG-20170402-WA0025.jpg

What a shot 🙂 right?

The unexpected

Each time I felt a blow.
Every time I couldn’t believe.
Each time my heart broke.
Was all for having expectations.

The things I never imagined.
The times I didn’t forsee.
I was ready for good, but unprepared…
For the worse I never expected.

Twists and turns with crests and troughs,
More than awry are my plans.
Farther than the aim It is pretty rough.
In the unknown, this was unexpected.

Accepting my fate is not happening.
Choices are my only option, and
Changing my course sounds frightening.
But I won’t give up if that is being expected.

If you tread a path of your own.
You’d be often advised to leave it.
Don’t give up, dream on.
And get over the unexpected.

Infinite like the sky.

I had planned on going to this amazing roof top restaurant with my friends and instead of going there directly we wandered into a near by monument for two reasons, one to pass time and make it lunch appropriate and two just because we all felt like doing something more than just going out to eat.

The monument visit was a great idea, it was nice as they usually are, tall and strong and a little damaged with time but still standing. We admired the work and the history behind building it, and found a quite place to chit chat there before heading towards the restaurant.

Here is the funny part, this fancy place famous for its 25th floor roof top resto-bar with its scenic skyline, night-life, and good food does not open until 7 pm and there we were trying to make it to lunch. Driven crazy with hunger we had no choice but to find another place. So we did.

This new place was in no comparison to the earlier one but going with the flow of things we did what made sense, moved onto the next best thing  in this case not necessarily the best but keeping with the day’s theme it was a new place.

At the end though we ended up having fun and that is that, with friends all you really want is the time to either pause or be infinite. Yes, infinite like the sky-line we plan on seeing next month when we go to this restaurant again, but this time with all information so that we won’t have to return with just a halfhearted thank you like we had to say to the guard today.

The best part is how we did not really get disappointed that the plan was totally spoilt, for the second time in a row, rather we moved on so quickly by accepting the situation and made a new plan and agreed on revisiting that place soon. This only goes to show that we just needed each other’s company. Fancy place or not did not seem to matter much. We have definitely grown a lot and I am really proud of all of us.

2017 – 6/365

Had an exam on economics today it was ok. I would go ahead and say for just two days worth of preparation the exam went alright but the knowledge gained is beyond compare. These days I feel like a student again which reminds me academics is easier than life and now I fail to understand why were we in a hurry to grow up?

Does is it even matter?
Well, we either win or gain experience so yeah it all matters. Perhaps it does not seem like it in the short run but wait for the long run. Ha now I know additional meanings for short and long run thanks to economics.

It is of no use to look here or there, to think of this or that. Just listen to your heart or just feel it – feels are never wrong no matter who says what. – Insach

2017 – 1/365

Today the events were as expected, fun and frolic too, but fear and the following total failure of plans made it gloomy. It wasn’t as I wanted and that was quite upsetting until it turned around and became the best first day of the year, better than I could have imagined.

Here I was thinking nothing could be better than my plans. Gosh was I wrong!

Miracle or just patient optimism?
I guess both!

Missi…

(M)akes you wonder, where could it be?
(I)f it is here then why can’t you see?
(S)trange things never miss your eyes.
(S)o you look closer.
(I)nquiring what went wrong?
(N)ot knowing that was the only chance.
(G)one is the love that couldn’t last.

(M)issing it might seem sane,
(I)t was the first, next won’t be the same.
(S)eldom does it come the exact way.
(S)ure you don’t wanna take the risk?
(I)n the name of fear, you might miss.
(N)othing more but love in your life.
(G)ot any other plans to make it right?

Wait a while.

And then you just wait…

A list full of tasks,

Taken care of.

Now I yearn for,

Something new.

A few things shaken.

A lot more changed.

Wanted it to be,

Different form the past.

 

Gathered the perfect soil.

Got some seeds of mine.

My karma as they call it.

I planted them so fine.

A little was moved.

A lot of water showered.

Sun quite bright,

And under the right light.

 

“What do I do now?”

I want it, quickly.

Life demanded that,

I wait for a bit more.

A tiny part of me,

A side I never did see.

I waited, kept waiting,

Until I saw it sprout.

 

With change of seasons.

Only patience helped.

My eyes finally saw,

Saw it grow.

A little taller.

A lot stronger.

All that I sowed.

All that I waited for.

 

Then, I learnt giving up control…

Leaves you feeling lighter.

Sometimes just wait,

A little while longer.

A lot  is getting done…

Before I can reap,

My rightful rewards.

Which I don’t yet see.

 

Be careful what you wish for, be extra careful what you think about. You will reflect your thoughts and it will attract the like. And we reap what we sow!

What ever “it” is!?

Did not have it,

So I craved it.

Could not afford it,

So I wanted it.

 

Finally received it,

So I savoured it.

In time got bored of it,

So I stopped needing it.

 

For granted I took it,

So I forgot to value it.

Only later to lose it,

So I held tightly on to it.

 

It was too late for anything,

And letting go, the hardest bit.

Now, I sit with sweet memories.

Realising the real value of it.

 

 

 

Hit-and-miss

Circumstances? They are not good or bad. Opportunities? They are not pleasant or unpleasant. People? They are not right or wrong. Specially, when talking about circumstantial opportunities that bring or take people away from our lives.

I did make up a complex term only to simplify its meaning and I have a very logical reason behind this simplification that is, we tend to over complicate things. Yes, we do. We all love drama. Accept it or not we have gone from experiencing life first hand to over analyzing every event. Like, co-relating to what has already been done than actually trying it out once again. Life is not science, oh wait, life is a science but living is an experience. There is no right or wrong method.

Who is to be blamed for this habit of opening pages from history to compare their methods to ours each time a problem shows up?

Lets go back to a couple of decades, the world was not yet a global village (if it was, then go back a little further to when it wasn’t). Anyway, so back then every hero was a local hero, every success story a local story, every failure a lesson for the people who knew the one who failed. Fast forward to now and you will see that this has changed. Daily so many stories of local heroes and local failures become a global news.

We hear about them so often that in a way we are becoming too aware of what could go wrong.

Anyone reaching a step ahead than the rest of the world is the new best. Which is okay, but as I see, it adds to pressure knowing that I am know no where near the “world’s best”. It is both very motivating yet demotivating because everyone strives to be better than this “best”. 

We get entangled in the facade of it all – trying to be the top notch, the best, the greatest and what not!

Competition is good, but with whom? The elite? or Yourself? Do we even care about that anymore, do we focus on being our best version everyday? When I tried I drifted, slowly and steadily so, towards the ongoing competition. And every failure which was supposed to be a learning/lesson became a game of finding out what went wrong. And I blamed The circumstantial opportunities that did not bring the right kind of people with them.

What ever happened to making your own stories? Learning from others’ mistake does not mean you can not make the same ones in your own life time. It is simply does not. It is likely that what worked for some one in the past is not going to work for you.

Rapunzel broke free using her hair does not imply one should start blaming their hair for not being long enough when they wan to break free. Just trying to get my point across. We shan’t focus on her hair or the tool used by her but the lesson which is the one and only, ever so famous, how much do you want it and not how many times have A, B or Z already tried and failed using that method!

Right time, right opportunity, right people! These will never come together. If one keeps waiting for them to knock on their door it is only ending in disappointment. I agree, sometimes and that is after playing our part, we have to be patient for the universe to make its move, we have to wait for other people to play their roles, for right opportunities to knock on the door, for the circumstances to be perfect.

Even then just know that they will rarely, if ever, show up together. Even if they did will you have your tools at the ready?

Life is not a method it is a blend of hit-and-miss – of individuals and for individuals.