That dim feeling.

Thoughts are such a beautiful aspect of being a human. I wonder if other beings can have thoughts. They might not have discernment but in my opinion if animals can feel things they can at least think about basic things. Instinct in itself manifests as a thought and as humans we are offered a choice to whether act on that thought or not, and that seems like a distinguishing characteristic.

It comes so naturally to animals and birds to just act on their instincts they do not care about anything more than their needs. But our free-will allows us to have a thought after the first thought. They call it intellect and it does this beautiful job of freaking our wits out with confusion. I guess this is why school’s encourage students to question often – just because we can and because we should. Think and question!

On one hand, it is a beautiful and powerful tool to be able to pause (think) before we act. But there exists a very fine balance between thinking and over-thinking, just like a few other things in life, how much is too much? When does thinking become over-thinking?

Experientially speaking, It is possible to be mentally exhausted and still be perfectly fine. A good night’s sleep should fix you up. But if you wake up the next day with a hang-over of lingering thoughts; when you have a dim feeling of uneasiness the entire day or night, it is at this point when one must stop. This easily qualifies as losing the balance.

Just like any other part of our body brain utilises the fuel of the body, energy from the food, but at a much faster rate. You do not have to wait until the physical signs appear and you lose some of your body weight just because you have been expending more than you should.

As fascinating as our thoughts and mental faculties are, burning out this system is an actual possibility. Do not let it get that far. Two things are very clear one, thoughts are a mental response to an external stimuli or an internal one (old memories or imagination).  And the most empowering aspect of this capability of re-living the past and/or making-up the future is that we choose to carry out these mental actions.

We choose to condition ourselves with what we like or dislike, we mask what we want to hide and show only what we want to show, even with all this practice when it comes to controlling our negative thoughts – negativity –  we lose the battle like a novice.

I mean it is our mental space, good or bad, we have been day-dreaming all of it. Why lose creativity now? It is better to immerse yourself in your story – one with a happy ending instead of tragic. Use these exclusive capabilities for yourself and for others. The moment you feel a dim feeling hovering upon you, remember it is time to sail into a new direction.

Advertisements

The shock.

There is a glass with water in it and we are trying to figure it out whether it is half full or half empty while the question should be why is there a glass with water in it just lying around like that… Ghosts? haha. I am just trying to look at it the way it is.

I feel it should not be about how or what we perceive. It should be about how much of what we perceive like, do you just see the glass and the water or the reality surrounding it. What is even a wide or a narrow perspective and how could it be wrong or right? Perception could only be true or false and half the truth is not truth because the rest of it will be an assumption so, it is a hit or miss.

Half the time we choose to close our eyes hoping that the reality would change, other times we are not even conscious of this and some times we are just blindsided. The last one is okay but in the first two situations when we are faced with reality, we are shocked and that is not fair on anyone.

It is easy to get engrossed in ‘how’, missing out on ‘what’, and then finding a ‘who’ to blame it on while searching ‘why’ for a loonng time. So why be shocked if time slips away. It is easy to miss on reality when we live in our own world, but for how long? The longer we stay the bigger the shock.

 

That one reservation.

Oh gosh! the amount of things that we keep reserved for ourselves and the things that keep us reserved could simply be put out in display to the world and anyone could do a psychological analysis of our true reality kind of like in the movies. It is by small things that the character reserves and the reservations the character holds that simply defines the entire character arc and even the progression of the story-line.

With that being said and after sounding like a pseudo-psychologist I am going try to sound very realistic yet stick to the theme of movies and story-lines. So, with things reserved and reservations holding us back there is that one reservation that every movie has, actually come to think of it, everything has that one place reserved for itself at the end.

The end is where it all… begins again. Result oriented as we are today the only thing we would like to reserve is a “perfect” ending and the only thing that holds us back is the fear of not getting the “perfect” ending. Fear of failure? Nope! Failure is the first step on the ladder to success or they say. Then why fear it? It is the ending we all want, not the first step or even the second but the last one; the climax.

And as cliche as it sounds there is no ending without a story. Build a story or even better let a story unfold itself so that an ending builds upon it.

In my opinion we are directing the ending so much that we do not eat to eat, we eat to lose or to gain weight. We do not talk to talk, we talk to get something done or undone. We do not breathe to breathe, well…. no…. wait, we do not breathe at all it just happens. Had breathing been a task I am sure by now some of us would have taken the time to get it over with to get to where they want to be. But where is that exactly? No one has time and that is okay, people are busy in turn productive or destructive. Either way, we are just busy human-beings.

I am not against the awareness that one must have for repercussions of their actions. I am against the reservation that results could bring specially to those who deserve or need the freedom. While on the other hand there are some who do not think of repercussions at all they are excluded from this just because good or bad (destructive) they can not be stopped (by just words, that is).

So, at a personal level why have that one reservation hold you back when you clearly have the ability to think things through (to a point in future that is not yet a reality). After all, failure is the first step on the ladder of success. The ending is reserved anyway.

P.S. This might have sprung out of a positive self-talk haha.

Timing the time.

Watching a leaf fall from a tree or keeping track of your time as you are on the go, which one are you more naturally drawn to keep a check for? I think it is the latter that brings a sense of responsibility on us, after all being punctual is a good quality to have.

I feel as if time passes more quickly when we keep a watch on it. Like in the case of watching a leaf falling, you would probably find that a leaf takes an eternity to reach the ground, specially when you observe it while you are preoccupied.. Sounds funny but try it out.

We know a leaf does not take that long, but because mostly we are so impatient it starts seeming as if it is time consuming or waste of time even. In reality the check on time is meant to aid us in multi tasking unfortunately as a result of this we tend to become impatient.

“The clock is ticking”, the very sentence just takes away a heart beat as if not time but life is slipping out of our hands. The segregation of certain-activities of life which are supposed to be growth or maturity based have been put under a time-check. If you do not reach the finish line in said time you lose. If you do not meet dead lines you are dead. If you do not get this, or experience that by a set time/age you will be left behind.

The idea of timing time has taken away the experiential aspect of life. We all know slowly and slowly the structure and organisation is only burning people out instead of making them relaxed.

As I see compulsions arise from this systematic approach to living. As children there was only sun rise and sun set meaning get up and go to bed the rest was just a fun-filled day. And now as I time the time I always fall short of time. Like every other thing that we created we have allowed one more to control us instead of us controlling it.

Do it when you feel is right, do it timely not at “right-time”.

From calm to calmness.

With so much going on around us a moment every now and then to feel the present is all we need, a moment where we can be tranquil for just a while. There are enough talks and books on self-help, but we know experience is the best of all teachers.

As calm as this word is in itself, the feelings attached are of our own understanding. I mean for any non-English speaker this is nothing but an uttered word – all in all a sound -nothing more nothing less. Then why do those who associate a meaning to this word can feel this word? How?

It sounds uncommon, but is it really? Hate, sadness, murder, benevolence, love, happiness are mere words, just a group of letters; plain alphabets! But as much as hate sounds bad and love sounds nice.

You see, the words that we utter do have profound effect on our message; the words we commonly use become a part of our nature. Words that we constantly come across tend to lose their value over time but never do they lose their meaning. Like profanities; when used around friends they are funny, when with strangers they could be dangerous. So in a way we program our brains, our selves, our surroundings with the choice of words..

It is good manners to be polite, but for whom, to whom, with whom? As I find it, most of the things that we do in life are placed externally. We feel as if it is necessary to be good to others that, it is nice to be kind and genuine so that others would be the same to us exactly like the saying; treat others the way you want to be treated.

There is nothing wrong with the statement, only that yet again we have labeled a good habit “good” on the basis of how it makes others feel. Yet again we go on behaving not for our sake but for others’. Do we not already live too much in a small restricted world just to satisfy others and their egos, just to get things done, or simply just to be nice to others?

In my opinion there is one thing wrong in this approach. It leaves a choice in our hands because when we do things for some else’s sake it is more of a choice instead a necessity. We would go on and categorise people as those who “deserve” this favour and those who do not “deserve” goodness.

The way I see it if each one of us would do good and be good for one’s own self, this good nature will shift from being a choice to being a compulsion. After-all no one will do wrong to themselves. If this shift happens we won’t need to be calm with people or calm in situations, but we would transcend to calmness altogether.

From calm to calmness. From the adjective to a mental state. From external to internal. From doing to being!

When you fall for it.

There is a lot of buzz about optimism all around us. It is said that, by having a positive outlook we bring much stability to the mind than by being too critical or cynical. It is expected of any person, who is optimistic that they see the brighter side, a new perspective of sorts. Suddenly, they become the rock for everyone else just because they see that tiny ray of hope and cling on to it. But is seeing the silver lining enough in itself? Is that all optimism is about?

As an optimistic, we would try to focus on seeing the positive in every thing and circumstances which overtime will become a habit. This habit in fact is the pitfall of this simple approach. Soon enough we go from seeing to anticipating the positive in everything. As if every cloud will come with a silver lining. I have realised, this is where the problem begins.

When you program your brain to look for the positive you would always expect that there will be a way out, that there is some good in this situation too, that sooner or later your ray of hope will be clear to you. But what about when you can not see it? How to cope up with that?

Actually this is the real test, when a dark cloud over-shadows your life and it has no apparent silver lining, by habit you would start looking for something to hold on to. Something that could help you get through. But it is no where to be found!

So what we have done here is made ourselves, sub-consciously, to expect a door to show up out of no where, that eventually something/anything good will pop up. Sadly that will not always be the case. You meet a grumpy, sadist person and you are trying to look for positive attributes. Won’t work…  Right?

What to do now?

Stop right there and stay unaffected, you be the best you are, you be positive. You see the very beauty of optimism lies not in looking for the brighter side, not in anticipating an emergence of a ray of hope, not in relying on miracles, but staying positive. Notice this  subtle shift from “seeing” positive to “staying” positive.

It indeed is about not giving up, not paying attention to the  darker sides of things, but being a fool – ignorant and blissful. Remembering all the while that life will bring in down falls and when you do fall, it is advisable to not fall any further by anticipating positive outcomes. Expectation only invites pain into life.

So, the next time there is nothing positive, just “be” positive and by being positive you are releasing yourself from looking for a way out. Optimism does not guarantee positive outcomes and life is unfair but when you are not expecting anymore from anyone or anything… The power comes back to you because you smile beautifully NO MATTER WHAT and this guarantees that the journey will be nice if not great.

PS: Easier said than done and If needed, run for your life! Or that sadist might pick up a wrong signal.

 

Breakdowns

I might be a fool considering I left my job in this economy. But it is cool because I enjoy being called one.

The root cause of all bad in life is fear or at least the negative thoughts that start taking a toll on the body. Fear is in the head, anxiety in our behaviour and panic affects our being. Breakdowns happen; leaving us petrified, unable to move, speak or even breathe!

One could work on those fears but sometimes fears win, fear cripples lives. Once fear takes over, the pattern of running away from the triggers becomes a habit until one day when the past comes back to life and all seems to fall down as panic grips so hard it almost feels like a heart attack and leaves one emotionally drained.

This powerlessness renders the body weak. Weak to the point that taking another step seems impossible. I know this is not even close to the what people suffering from anxiety or panic disorders go through, but it is a horrible experience to say the least.

I feel these problems are more common now than ever. I see how young School kids use words like hate and love in the context of their peers or the world in general without realising the impact of using such strong words.

The times and life might have gotten complex and fast paced but in no way has it become necessary to panic over the littlest of things. Not to belittle some one else’s problems but their are people who react so spontaneously on little things and get nervous breakdowns over normal everyday situations.

Dependency is to be blamed.

There was a time when boredom was seldom and today if the WiFi is not working for an hour, every one starts sulking (that includes me) and we start wondering what to do? While as a kid majority of the time was spent outside the house; walking, talking, playing and now, except for the neighbour’s WiFi’s name, I do not even know who actually lives in the neighbour-hood.

Today homework is headache, exams are a headache, social events are a headache, talking to people is an issue, making friends, finding love, getting a job, working everything seems so unusually forced and more and more it seems like everyone is doing what has to be done and not what they love doing.

No, we are just messing up the whole point and definition of living.

For instance, a lot of work goes in the presentation of things and then labeling the best representation that, originality is thrown out of the window – like a scared pup it hides in one corner, over powered thus, commencing a pattern of self-deprecation and trying to meet the generalised standards, norms, trends, what not!

Please do not.

So many youngsters are hyper-emotional and will accept that their most enjoyable activity is sleeping. Honestly, this is not because they are tired. One can NOT be twenty and tired unless they are actually not sleeping even for six hours, it is not sleep that they want, it is peace of mind and sleep is just the perfect form of escape from the reality.

As psychology suggests depression leads one to eat too much, talk too much, sleep too much, or the opposite – it simply leads to extreme always. And look around is anything short of extreme.

Actual things that people say:

“Some one says something about me, I am gonna give them a piece of my mind.”

“Something breaks down, that is it life has ended, I have nothing to do.”

“Something is too hard to bear, I just can’t!”

Speaking from personal experience running away is going to make it hard to handle anything in life. Just accept that life with all its bumps is going to be alright, we better go over those bumps and not around them because the further we run from something, the closer we get to the next big problem. And then we will panic!

Breathe, smile, and be you. There is so much pleasure in being the fool, believe me fools are happier. Otherwise this world… I just can’t! LOL

Junoon

Repeating prompts already? Meh!

My kind of twist… Passion in Hindi is called Junoon. The word itself can be said passionately haha. Words are mere sounds with meanings and we made entire languages out of them. It is both a mind boggling fact and a realisation so use your sounds wisely and with passion.

Laziness is something I love because it allows me to stay in bed all day, do nothing, be a home-buddy, and just sloth around the house. It is in our very blood to be comfort loving and getting used to it. But on the other hand once I am well rested and bored with being at ease the natural tendency of a human to look for variety makes me crave some action.

Actions that are personal that are carried out in one’s own time and space. These could also be social – done with the aim of feeling connected and belonging to something or someone. These could also be small or big actions.

And finally the actions that we want to be defined with. My action, my repercussion for my satisfaction. Now that is most important because that is how I know if I am fulfilling my purpose. So be it personal, professional or any other facet of this life every action is just an ordinary one unless its driven by passion of which we derive the satisfaction.

Junoon is known to drive people crazy. They do call passionate people crazy. After all what is crazy is definitely out of the box. Who wants the ordinary anyway? Variety is the spice of life and passion the director.

I am looking for what drives me. It takes a lot of retrospection to find that one thing. And it is a tiring process more like trying of my patience but I am looking forward to it showing me the way. Seems like a good motivation. Believe me the shift in perception and choices happens so quickly in this phase that I am expecting to be called crazy sooner or later. Haha.

But hey it is not my fault that I have to find a place where my heart finally says, “yes this is what I have been waiting for all this time”. Got to take the ride! Anyhow, it won’t be called a journey if it had no halts.

Smile together.

Put it all aside; the differences, the times and circumstances, and see how we all are together. We always have been! Looking at the bigger picture, the history of human evolution or even this universe and our tiny Earth for that matter, everything reached a point where it was all so perfect and one day boom it was the end of it all. Not in a bad way though.

For each new chapter, the old book was always closed. Not only you and me but everything and everyone is part of a bigger plan and as the trend suggests the past has to pass through it all, even the worst of times (present) just to get to a better place (future). It is not really guaranteed though.

It is sad in a way to think that to reach the top of the mountain we shall climb it with the risk of falling down and when diving deep the risk of never finding the way out hangs on our head. But this never stopped some from climbing higher or diving deep even when they fell or never made it back. At least they made it in to the history.

The belief that struggle is one’s personal stems from another belief that no two people can have the same life. While the matter of fact is indeed that, no two individuals have the same life, the dissimilarities are in way we perceive situations or just in the scenarios, but not in what they trigger.

Do not count your problems. Count the emotions they create. Do you feel things differently than the rest of the population? How can you when there is only a handful of emotions that can be triggered be it any encounter – a new challenge or an upheaval or a simple change.

The circumstances may differ but our feelings do not. I am either sad or happy or just neutral and that is no different than what other’s feel. We all try, together we try, together we take the ride yet we like to suffer alone.

We all learn the material, we all learn our selves, we all learn our short comings, we all face problems, we all perceive them differently, we all respond differently, no one is right or wrong but one loses and another wins. At the end, we all strive against it.

What can make it really easy is simplicity. When in doubt, choose your heart. When in fear, do it anyway. When nothing seems to work out, let go. When it all falls down? Try! Just be clear of one thing, there is no right or wrong, no winner or loser. If it makes you smile and keeps the fire going – it is perfect!

Complications are nothing more but of our own making. Smile, together.

OTD

Not OCD, OTD! Obsessive Thinking Disorder. Not a compulsive behavior but a deliberate process of thinking more than required. How many people suffer form OTD!? I know I do. What a freaking waste of time and energy! But the very fact that I am writing about it clears one thing that, I am aware of this disorder and awareness is the first step to acceptance and with acceptance we can move on to next step – rectification.

We should be aware of our thoughts, that is very basic understanding. And once you know about OTD, asking your mind to shut up should actually help. Unfortunately, it does not work that way. You can not stop your thoughts. It is easier to be filled with fear of something wrong happening while being very happy but doing the opposite; feeling happy while having sad thoughts is impossible. And that is another belief. Yes, this is where ignorance becomes a bliss, the less we know about the world made beliefs the more of self-belief we have.

Anyway the point is OTD is so common specially among the young ones. We just like to think so much and create vivid images of what might go wrong instead of just going for something. What went wrong, where and when!?

I believe that as kids we just lived care free and that is the trait we need to bring back. Careful is okay worrying all the time is not. And it is okay to think…. Actually no, it is better to just give “A” thought to something. Just a thought – singular.

Weighing the pros and cons is not similar to just looking at the pros or just the cons. Both are important, but are you thinking “over it” or about it”? That should be the question because there is a difference which will change the approach and the pattern of thoughts. Trying to stop a flood when it has happened is futile, but creating the diversion for that powerful flow, now that is possible. Do not stop your thoughts try to change them instead. This sounds like some famous quote.

You could check whether you are thinking over it, about it, or paying too much attention to the “supposed outcomes. And if nothing makes sense why not just take a leap?  Not necessarily a leap of faith, more like following your instincts, gut feelings and nothing else. It is faster and mentally less exhausting. Make your own mistakes; learn, fall, stand back up, nothing embarrassing in that. Come to think of it even that sounds like a trigger for OTD, fear of failure!! In its essence fear is the culprit.